


Gimme Shelter

by GeneralR0gu3P1an3t



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Military, Badass Lapis, F/F, PTSD, Post-War, Supportive Peri, Trauma Recovery, War is Hell kids, Wounded Warrior Jasper, detective garnet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-10-19 13:29:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10640805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeneralR0gu3P1an3t/pseuds/GeneralR0gu3P1an3t
Summary: Cpt. Lapis Lazuli is a former special forces field officer for the Navy Seals. After surviving one of the most intense firefights of her military career, she is pushed over the mental edge and is forced to retire for immediate psychological treatment back on American soil in Beach City. Fresh off  the plane, she immediately throws herself at an old bar she used to hang out in her younger years to find Peridot Diamond, a college girl finding herself between a rock and a hard place when dealing with her ex boyfriend. Lapis is able to intervene, soon forming a relationship with the blonde. Will Lapis go down the wrong path, and succumb to her madness much like her old war buddies are, or will Peridot bring her to a brighter future?War children... it's just a shot away, it's just a shot away! -Rolling Stones, Gimme Shelter





	1. Welcome Home, Soldier.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so my break is here, and I need to say this (No it's not a vent this time lol kinda getting a reputation, I know) 
> 
> I am indeed annoying, and whether people want to admit it, I try to pry myself into other people's lives to help them, when really it's causing more harm I think. I'm so tired of being the annoying person in the group that NO ONE else likes or wants to be with. I get it. I am annoying. I am abrasive. I need to shut up and leave people alone. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. 
> 
> From now on, I will occasionally not talk on purpose to not intrude, both on comments and other sides. I know no one has admitted it to me. I get that. People are polite. I understand that. I'm doing it for all of ya. 
> 
> I never want to come on as annoying. I hope my silence will allow people to still want to be friends with me. Thank you for reading this PSA. If you want, please continue reading my fic. Thank you again.

Run. Keep running. Don't stop. Stop, and you die.

Pretty understandable orders for Lapis Lazuli. It was those thoughts that were able to push her out of the forest and into the open field, the gunshots flaring out into the open setting. The whole time, Lapis Lazuli was basically snapping like the twigs being broken under her ACU boots. The song from O Brother Where Art Thou? Playing in her head. The Big Rock Candy Mountains playing in her head over and over. _Shit, my arm's hit._

Didn't stop her. It grazed her skin badly, but she kept running. Her breath was getting worse, her sweat was maximum to the point of dehydrating. Still all the while, the disturbingly calm song played in her head, the sound of bullets whizzing past her in the background noise. The soldier continued humming though. Her mind was in different places these days. 

In the big rock candy mountains,

There's a land that's fair and bright!

Where the handouts grow on bushes,

And you sleep out every night!

Just another mission they'll say. We left you because we thought you were dead, they'll say. You were an honest mistake, they'll say.

Fuck... Wait, what's that?

... The helicopters. THE HELICOPTERS! KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL, PLEASE!

She got her wish. The EVAC came in. The guns starting whirling up, and gunned down the hyenas. The darkness wore off. The Hell was thwarted.

'IT'S CPT. ATLANTIC! SHE'S ALIVE! GET HER ON, ASAP! RADIO IT IN!" The marines loved Seals. They were like celebrities to the teens. Poor boys were desperate for a war story ever since the draft list.

"BLT 2 to Gate Keeper, BLT 2 to Gate Keeper, we're bagging out Cpt. Atlantic in some hot territory, requesting immediate aerial strike, code 4-4-4-5-7 aerial strike, I repeat, aerial strike code 4-4-4-5-7, over."

"Copy that BLT 2, aerial strike coming in on T-Minus 50. Cover your heads and head out, over."

The helicopters whizzed off, carrying the worn officer. Lapis leaned her head on the seat behind her, gazing out as the countdown was called out.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Hallelujah." The fires burned out the screams. A wave of explosions and fire like the thumb of God was splotched across the landscape.

Lapis pulled out a small mirror from her hallow pocket. The rescue marine piped up at noticing the object.

"A souvenir?" Lapis looked at him with a dead face of horror, before looking out into the fire-ridden jungle. 

"No." Lapis with all her might threw the mirror out the helicopter, the object soon falling into the jaws of the fire below, never to be seen again.

"It was a cage."

I'll see you all,

this coming Fall,

In the big rock candy mountains!

* * *

 

It was quiet. Silence. A cold beer at her side. The sound of a baseball game in the background. A lone bartender and some silent patrons along with her, one in the corner, another quietly talking to a fellow construction worker about their long day.

A normal evening.

Something she hadn't felt in...

It was ominous. Cold. Off.

She wasn't herself anymore. She _never_ would be herself again. Lapis Lazuli was dead. What left was a reflection in the mirror. 

Time for another round.

"Another, please." The bartender nodded, calmly filling up the pint back to it's full state. Lapis drank a little bit before going back to her state of Hell.

_I wanna go home. I wanna go back. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... I deserve this... I want to die... This is my life now... I am useless... I am nothing... Less than nothing... Scum._

_If there is a God, he has abandoned me._

The thoughts spiraled out of control, but all her inner conflict wasn't shown to the rest of the world. No one knew her haunted mind was breaking down. For once, Lapis was truly alone. No fellow soldiers. No family. No friends. Completely alone with her own fears and worries. 

 

Then she ran in.

 

She was blonde, a college girl no doubt by the tattered jeans and college jacket, a black shirt underneath. Green glasses, smooth cheeks mixing with her freckles, and a mess of a hair cut in an almost shape-like matter. She kind of stood out running into a bar on a quiet Monday night.

The blonde girl soon raced over to the bluenette, instantly grabbing onto her arm, and without any hesitation said in a terrified voice spoke out to her

**"Please protect me."**

In only a few more seconds, a tall man came racing in after her. The blonde instantly froze up, not dare facing the individual behind her. 

"Peri, stop being a little bitch! You're just freaking out, take your fucking meds sometime, huh!? Christ, now you're making a scene, GET BACK OUTSIDE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" Lapis turned her head to see a tall man with tattoos across his face, some messy piercings, and a skull t-shirt on with black shorts.

Great, a local townie dumbass. Time to play hero.

"Hey shitwad, maybe take you, and your small dick outside. No one cares that the sex pills didn't help."

"Excuse me, bitch? Who the fuck are YOU!?" 

"Face it, kid. She doesn't like the size. Two millimeter Peter isn't really matching the death metal look you have going. Listening to Five Finger Death Punch and Metallica doesn't make your manhood better."

"THIS AIN'T YOUR BUSINESS, WHORE! STAY OUT OF THIS BEFORE I KNOCK YOU AND MY BITCH OUT." Peridot looked back to Lapis before the bluenette sighed in compassion for her and finally stood up, the rest of the bar watching in awe as Lapis stood on her own two bruised legs and spoke back like a gentle giant.

"Tell you what, I'll answer your question. I'm Lapis Lazuli, former captain and war veteran of the Navy Seals. I just got back from ten tours, the final one giving me a bit of a headache after the **gunshot through the head.** Thankfully, I was able to survive the two months I was put in at their **labor camp** in Coundra before breaking out via bare hands and a digital watch. The boots helped, but y'know... Anyway, I didn't just survive all **that-"** Lapis moved up in front of the man, now towering over him like a beast.

"-To hear you whine about how you can't make love to a good woman without getting laughed at."

The man pulled out a switchblade from his loose pocket, a look of even more anger than before forming on his face. The bar patrons at this point could have gotten their popcorn and 3D glasses out for this show.

"Oh, that's cute." Lapis without warning ripped the knife right out of the bully's hand, taking it between her scarred hands to snap it into two right before him.

"Go home, kid. I can kill again. And everyone here will vouch for me, correct?" The rest of the few observers nodded silently in compliance. Almost feeling neutered, the defeated man stormed out of the bar like a kid getting called out for being disobedient by his parents, storming to his room.

The blonde girl walked up to Lapis, tugging on her blue jacket to get her attention.

"... Thank you."

"Don't mention it, Ms..."

"Ms. Diamond. Call me Peridot."

"Alright, Peridot."

"... Let me buy you a drink."  Lapis could comply to that.

 

"So, you're a Seal?" Peridot asked curiously, sipping on her martini.

"Yes ma'am. Best special forces out there."

"Isn't that stuff like... Insane?"

"You get used to insanity after a while." Lapis winked. Peridot gave out a small laugh before ordering another glass.

"So... You're taking a break I presume?"

"... I'm on permanent leave. I might be retired, I don't know."

"Why is that, if you don't mind me asking?" Lapis looked away, almost in shamefulness.

"I... I've seen a lot... I came home to get away from it all... It followed me, though." Peridot put a hand on Lapis' shoulder.

 _"... I'm sorry."_ Lapis nodded somberly, sighing in almost mental agony.

"My home is gone, I guess... My family doesn't want me to visit."

"Why is that!?"

"They think I'm a monster I guess? ... Can't blame 'em." Peridot shook her head in disagreement.

"They're ignorant. A monster doesn't just save a random stranger from their ex boyfriend." Lapis let out a foggy chuckle.

"Yeah, that kid needs to shut his mouth sometime. Broke my concentration real bad." Peridot sighed while nodding in agreement.

"He's been... Following me for a while after our breakup... My family keeps forcing me into a straight relationship because they think it'll 'cure' me. Assholes...'' Peridot scoffed.

"Cure? What are you, gay?"

"... Yeah. You have no idea what my family is like. Fucking crazies. My parents were junkies who then became born again Christians, so they force all of their homophobic bullshit on me." Lapis laughed a little before replying.

"I'm not the straightest mermaid in the sea, either. Everyone in my training used to call me 'Carpet Muncher.' Then, when I led a team of Navy Seals to go in and independently take down an entire drug gang housing on a heroin cargo ship in the Atlantic ocean, they called me 'Cpt. Atlantic.' I kinda like the ladder a little more, to be honest." The two shared a little bit a laugh before returning to shallow silence. Finally, after a while Peridot asked

"So where are you staying?" Lapis shrugged in response.

"A random motel, I guess. I've lost reason to setting up a home." Peridot thought for a second before replying

"Well, I have an open apartment that you could hang out in. It's the least I can do for saving me tonight, plus if he comes back, you could muscle him out for good if he tries to break in. Trust me, he's gonna try again. If you're there though, one stop and he'll never poke his head again, I bet."

Lapis thought for a bit quietly before answering.

"... You're a college student, right?"

"Yeah."

"... You let me crash at your place for a bit, I'll let you share some of my green coming for my service. In return, we eat and lay low together. Neither of us are annoying, so... That might just work."

"So we have a deal?'' Peridot asked, exposing a hand to shake.

"Deal." Lapis replied, shaking the blonde's hand in return.

"Let's move out, sugar."

Peridot was kind of shocked by the nickname but went with it. _Are all soldier peeps like this? Oh boy._

 

It wasn't long before the two ditched the guestroom strategy. Maybe it was the drinks, or maybe it was true love. Didn't matter to them.

All that mattered was that sleeping together felt way better than sleeping alone.

The two started dating after only a few weeks of living together.

This was the first step to Lapis' recovery.

The Big Rock Candy Mountains were still in sight after all...


	2. Same Soldiers, Different Battlefield, Their Own War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Jasper meet up in a bar along with the rest of the old comrades. Meanwhile, Peridot hangs out with her own friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going back to psycho camp on Sunday, so sorry if it's a while before I update again.

Lapis planned to meet up this coming Wednesday with her old war buddies. Surprisingly, Lapis was one of the few Navy Seals that actually had friends that weren't other Seal members. Lapis was actually well known for having a good mix of friends, Navy or not. Sure, they formed foolish branch rivalries sometimes, but Lapis liked having a variety of jackasses instead of the same dumb level of jackasses. Variety always helped with stupidity.

There was Sam 'Eyeball' Wright, a SSG in the Rangers Special Forces, who lost her eyeball in a fistfight with the local wildlife bears of Siberia. She was probably the most brutal of the bunch, almost in a humorous way. She tried way too hard at being scary. She had always wanted to be a Ranger herself, and was able to work her way to the top, even though she came from a pretty broke down home. She, like many other veterans, wore an eye patch, her own being blood red. Talk about showing your colors.

There was also Ed 'Metal Head' Fort, a Gunnery Sergeant in the Marine Corps, who was a former scout sniper. He got the nickname from being a fanatic of heavy metal... And also the insane amount of bullets from enemy snipers pierced through his skull. The surgery was committed by himself usually. Under fire. At night. He says he's fine. He also says that there are way too many ghosts in his bed, but has grown accustomed to their residence there. You be the judge.

The doctor was Maria 'Doc' River, a Captain in the Nursing Corps. She never got much of a nickname in comparison to other departments of the Army that she was in, but apparently, being nicknamed 'Doc' in the Nursing Corps was on of the best honors you could receive, and it's only attained for being the most fearless medic on the fringes of the battlefield. How many lives she's saved is said to be close to two hundred at the time of her retirement. She's known as a legend to medics still fighting the good fight across both the Tundra wastelands of Siberia and the Himalayas, and the jungles and deserts of Egypt and the rest of the inhabitable middle east. 

The cavalry of the team was Tamera 'Blue Bird' Nosolo, a lieutenant in the cavalry. Her interesting nickname came from her spattered graffiti that became a daring calling card for _the enemy._ Any place that Tamera ended up conquering from her helicopter was always found with the same piece of spray painted into the ruins: a blue bird, usually eyeing the individual staring back it it. She had her five minutes of fame when she plastered the art piece on a propaganda broadcast before destroying the entire station from her heli.

The one out of place was David 'Spook' Whitefield, who wasn't military in the normal sense. Technically, he was part of a secret government organization that he couldn't name for his own personal reasons, but has definitely seen the same shit as everyone else. Therefor, since no one knows his real nickname, everyone in the gang just called him Spook for his part. In reality, he was one of the biggest geeks in the agency, and not only that, but his *actual* nickname from the agency was 'Megaphone,' due to him being overly loud as hell whenever simply talking. thankfully, everyone in the group liked yelling at each other, so they didn't seem to notice him stand out.

Then of course, there was Lapis, the head honcho of the group. Her job was to be the Navy Seal officer she was, and keep everyone from losing their shit. Over the course of her tours as a Seal, she was by far the toughest and smartest of the bunch, hands down. However, she had gone missing after being sent off on her last tour. That was when she was captured, and it took only three beers to get them to know the whole story... However Lapis knew of the other person within the same nightmare.

Jasper 'Tangerine Scourge' Torcher was known well in her Delta Special Forces company of how honest to god brutal she was. Jasper lived by two rules when it came to being on the job: "Don't leave anything untouched, and take no prisoners unless told to directly." Jasper lived by this in every single jump she took of those planes into enemy territory. Being a Captain like Lapis, she also took her team over herself. In that action, she too eventually slipped up and was captured by _the enemy._

"You listening? It's easier than you think. Every person you're on the phone with, they wanna get these guys capped, and they wanna get you rich doing it. They all want something for nothing." David said, putting on a greedy smile. Suddenly, Ed cut it in protest.

"There once was this Amish dude I was drinking a beer with, y'know, the guys with the beards with no mustache or some bullshit-" Everyone but David nods, confused at where this is going. "-Well he says that he only wants to make furniture."

"... What the fuck are you talking about?" David said shaking his head.

"I'm not putting words in your mouth or nothing Spook, but you just said that everybody wants to get rich and get their enemies dead."

"Holy fuck, you did just say that!" Tamera shouted.

"The- Guys, you're not-" Everyone kept nodding and talking over the frustrated ghost as he slammed his fist over and over the booth table, everyone else in the bar slowly noticing the ruckus the group was causing. "Do- Listen, guys! Do you wanna make some fuckin' money or not?"

"Look, I wanna make some fucking money, alright? ... Shit, I could sell a bunch of CC's to a group of nuns and say that their couplings of the lord, and have them overdose on the fucking things." Maria joked, earning a bit of laughter from the gang.

"That's the attitude, you can sell anything? Sell me this fucking pen, right now. Sell me that pen." David pulled out a small black pen, and extended his arm so Doc could reach it.

"C-can I eat first? I haven't eaten all day." Rolling his eyes, he looks over to the quiet Navy Seal in the large booth.

"Lapis, show 'em how it's done, eh? Sell me this pen, right now, c'mon." Lapis slowly looked over, and almost reluctantly, grabbed the pen out of David's hands.

"Want me to sell you this fucking pen, huh? ... Want you to do me a favor."

"Yeah."

"Want you to take that napkin, and write your name on it."

"... I don't have a pen."

"Exactly, supply and demand, sweetheart." Lapis said before throwing back the pen across the table, the rest of the group chuckling.

"See, that's what I'm talking about! She's creating urgency!" Once again, Ed butted in, getting even more attention this time.

"Now that's the thing-" Waving his used fork over at the agent across him. "-All nuns are lesbians."

"THE FUCK ARE TALKING ABOUT ED!?" Everyone else in the group nodded and agreed as if David wasn't even there shouting at the top of his lungs, this time having the entire bar notice the team now more than ever.

"BUT IT'S TRUE, THINK ABOUT I-"

Suddenly, the front door of the bar opened up loudly, gathering enough attention to stop the bickering within the group. Only one person knew the individual, and that one person was called out.

"Lapis!" The blue haired veteran looked up to see a familiar face that brought back too many dark memories to count. Not that those memories where her fault.

"Jasper!" Lapis immediately squeezed out of the booth to storm over to the large woman. "You ol' son of a bitch, you!" The two immediately hugged each other, and afterwards sat down to where Lapis' gang still was.

"Everybody, meet Jasper! She was with me in Pnigmós Ypovrýchia. She's a Delta."

"Another killer, huh? When are we gonna get a green beret... Name's Sam, Rangers." Sam led out a hand to shake for Jasper, the rest soon introducing themselves.

"Maria. Nursing Corps."

"Ed. Scout Sniper."

"Tamera. Cavalry."

"David. Special Agency."

"Told them about us." Lapis said, patting the taller woman's back.

"Ah... The whole story?"

"... Yeah... Kind of helps to talk about it, I guess."

"Right... Can we talk in private?"

"Sure." Jasper led Lapis out into the cold rain of the afternoon in Beach City, the gang still waiting behind.

"Lapis... I need your help."

"With what?"

"Yellow is in the city... I can feel it." Yellow hunter. The lunatic colonel... She was dead, though. Lapis made sure of that.

"Jasper, she's... She's dead. I killed her..."

"DID YOU SEE THE BODY!?''

"YES!"

"... I don't believe you."

"Jasper, listen to me, you have to let go-"

"LET GO OF ALL THAT!? HOW COULD I!? HOW COULD YOU!? ... **I'm going to find her... And I'm going to kill her...** With or without your help." Jasper stormed off from the board walk, Lapis too disturbed to follow her dark path. Stepping back into the warm bar, the gang looked at her, a face of cold water from the rain mixed with a look of misery and pain as her expression.

"Where did Jasper go?" Tamera asked, the rest waiting for a response.

"... I don't know... But where ever she's going... It's not gonna be pretty..."

Lapis sat back down, the rest being just as silent. Finally, David broke the ice.

"So... I've been writing fan fiction-"

"David. Bad time. Shut it." Lapis barked.

"... Sorry." He was about to add on that he was used to being a loud mouth, but had the intellect to shut up in time.

 

"Peridot, why do you wear nothing but green?" Amethyst asked questionably.

"It's a free country, last I recalled, Amethyst. If a woman wants to wear nothing but the color green, and date a girl who wears nothing but blue, then she can."

"You've really hit it off with that Lapis, haven't you?"

"I once dated a Seal..." Pearl butted in. "They're all ignorant assholes..."

"Pearl... I'm sorry, but... Please don't just judge her for her job... It's not like she's in the mob, after all. She's a really sweet person, truthfully."

"... You're right... I'm sorry that I'm being so rude about it."

"It's fine." Peridot said, giving her friend a hug, the thinner girl hugging her back as a makeup.

The trio made their way across the mall to catch up with Garnet, who was staking out a Hot Topic a couple stores down. For a girl with straight A's and a ridiculous IQ, she sure did break the stereotypes by wearing a bunch of punk clothes. Once the group was able to assemble, they made their way back to Amethyst's ride. Amethyst was kind of the only person out of college, so she wasn't as busy as the rest of the group, meaning that she was usually in charge of picking up or dropping off the rest on days like these.

"So, Peri, when is your GF going back oversees?" Amethyst asked.

"Oh, she's retired for now. She apparently has a lot of health issues."

"PTSD I assume." Garnet questioned. Peridot had to admit, she was almost right on any damn guess she made.

"Yeah... It's pretty bad, but we treat each other well, and respect each other, so it's actually a really healthy relationship for me for once... So long as my parents don't find out about it."

"Yes, your family is a bit... Off-putting, Peridot." Pearl intruded.

"Thanks, ice queen."

"Well, my girlfriend is coming home from her tour any day now! I can't wait to see her..."

"That's great Amethyst! Tell us all when Opal gets back, will you?" Amethyst nodding, soon putting the pedal to the metal across the highway, the rest of the girls opening up the windows as Garnet turned up the radio. It may have been raining in Beach City, but c'mon, it's still a beach, and rain never hurt anybody.

 

"Stop being adorable, damn it." Lapis grumbled, throwing herself under the covers. It was nice to come home to a warm bed and a hot Peridot after a long day of stress and coping.

"I'm like this for your own good." Peridot purred, joining Lapis under the blankets with her alien boxers and Lapis' Navy t-shirt on. She liked to wear her clothes when they slept to tease her a bit. Always good to show off the merchandise in familiar attire. The two cuddled together under the warm covers, the calm sound of rain outside in the background. Peridot soon fell asleep with her head up against Lapis' chest, falling asleep to the sound of her girlfriend's heartbeat. Lapis herself thought a little bit about Jasper. What was she going to do? How was it going to end? Should she get treatment like herself? What if-

" **Mumbles** Mmmm, love you to, Lapis... **Mumbles"** Peridot talking in her sleep woke Lapis from her need to be worried at the moment.

Forget all the stress and worry for now... It was time to sleep.

What could go wrong from a good night's rest?

(A lot of things)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOT TO COVER HERE OH BOY:  
> 1\. Wolf Of Wall Street reference in there.  
> 2\. Shout out to Ed and NotAlone. (this is what happens when you guys are the only friends I have that are into fan fic and aren't assholes so, yeah, tell me if ya want out if not you're staying in )  
> 3\. The war involved in this story was going to be based off of current events, but I've decided that instead of that, the war will just be a modern war, and also have a nameless enemy to fight. This is so that the reader can see that no matter what war it actually is, it doesn't matter. War is war, no matter what country involved, and no matter when or where it takes place, it still has all the horror that comes with it.  
> 4\. Spook is SO FUCKING ME.  
> 5\. But wait a minute, Rogue!!! In your fic 'Eagle And Buejay' The General is named David with 'R.P.' !!! Yes, I know. I was in the past gonna make The General me, but realized I am nowhere near as cool as him. I put a version of myself in this fic to make fun of how much of a narcissistic snake oil salesman I am. (BUT I'M MAKING MYSELF A CIA AGENT LET ME DREAM)  
> 6\. Most importantly, comments and feedback will be appreciated as always!


	3. Never Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis never left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter (and later ones) are very disturbing. If you have a weak stomach, this might not be the best chapter for you. 
> 
> Oh, you're just going to read it anyway, aren't you? Eh, whatever rebel.

Then everything went wrong.

Sergeant Harris was KIA from the fucker in the tree, and the team was becoming loose in that damn jungle. I was shot in the right shoulder. The pain made me flinch, but not for too long. I was able to get back up and move the team out to air support.

But there wasn't any. The radio went dark. We were alone.

So I thought okay, time to fucking split, and had who was left follow me out to an abandoned house that might have been used as a small supply depot for the charlie there. Don't know, don't care.

A firefight ensued. It didn't last long. After a couple shots to the enclosing swarm, I knew we where done for. No help was coming. A flash bang was thrown in. The fucking place lit up like Christmas. I screamed for everyone to get down, but it was too late. I was under a table, but my team were rubbing their eyes and slamming onto the wall next to them.

Then they stormed in. Took out Hitch and Donny. I grabbed Turner by the fucking arm, told him to shut the fuck up and bail with me. My assault rifle was out of ammo. I could have reloaded, but switched to the pistol for suppression instead. I hit the three inside by the time they realized where we were hiding. I told Turner to follow me as we booked it out of the window.

We ran from the light shining all around us. The bullets whizzing past us made us run even faster, in desperation. We ran for what seemed like hours. I was exhausted, and so was Turner. This is what we signed up for, I thought. Tenth tour, and only now am I doubting myself. Then I saw an odd field in the distance. It was thick enough for cover, so I had us route into it. To this day, I don't know if that was a bad move or not.

It was a poppy flower field. It was like a scene out of a horror flick, I thought. We scrambled into the field. There were flashlights over head. In that pitch black night, I could somehow make out what was in front of me, thank god. Turner was still keeping his cool, until a flashlight was beamed on him. A light gasp came from him as he tried to dodge a couple bullets towards him. One hit to his neck. Blood splattered on my uniform.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't leave him. I had to try to stop the bleeding. I got down, not knowing if they could see me by now. I put some bandages on the wound, but he was clearly bleeding out. I didn't even have a peace of mind to give some words of encouragement. I was still trying not to be seen, so I tried to keep quiet. I heard voices all around me. Shouting in foreign languages. Something about explosives, or helicopters.

... Then he started speaking. He said

"Dad.... Dad? ... Where are you? ... I'm sorry... I'm **Cough**... So sorry... I wanted to make you proud, dad... **Cough**... I didn't think it would be **Cough** that bad..."

I still remember his pale face, blood gushing out of his neck. I still remember the tears mixing with his blood as it trailed down his face to the puddle under him. I still remember the shaking and cold hands he had as he lost his body temperature. I still remember the chanting about his dad, the memory he had when he father told him not to go to war like he did. I remember his haunted expression of knowing the truth that he, in a pool of his own blood and tears, was going to die in my arms.

"... I wanna go home." He said it like a child sad about being forced to go to church on the weekend. That was the last thing he said before a ghastly expression was frozen onto his face. My eyes widened at the realization. Fuck. I'm the only one left. I should've been the first to die.

 

Then she grabbed me.

 

"Привет, партнер! Long way from home, aren't you American?"

 

She stomped her boot on my face, knocking me out. I woke up bound and gagged on the back of a pickup truck.

 

It's all my fault.

 

"LAZULI!" Peridot finally screamed, waking the haunted girl up. Lapis woke up in a sight of fear. Being quick on her feet, she jumped out of bed and grabbed Peridot in a protective manner behind her. It only took her a short second to whip the pistol from under her bed, aiming it at nothing.

"I'VE GOT YOU! I'VE- ..." Lapis looked around the apartment room.

There was nothing.

Everything became deaf, a light ringing sound coming from her ears as she remembered the sounds of loud explosions and gunfire. She almost fell to the floor from a feeling of encumbrance, until somebody got the courage to bring her back to reality. 

"Lapis, are you okay!? I tried to wake you up, you were yelling in your sleep, what's gotten into you!?" Lapis looked down at the shorter blonde girl in front of her, her freckles shining from the lamplight outside of their apartment. Her look of ignorance to the storm inside Lapis' mind brought her the big revelation: this was not normal.

"I..." Lapis couldn't speak much longer, collapsing onto the smaller girls' shoulders, not really caring if Peridot wanted to hug her or not. Peridot returned the hug as Lapis froze up in the room, silence engulfing the both of them.

"It's all my fault." Lapis finally said out loud.

"What's your fault?" Peridot asked naively.

"Everything."

Peridot didn't want to answer. She wasn't exactly an expert on this type of thing. Hell, she was taking medical classes, sure, but no way was she a psychologist for war veterans.

"Let's just... Go watch a movie for now... Make us sleepy again, okay?"

"... Okay."

Peridot and Lapis cuddled up on the couch in the living room, both mindlessly watching the romantic comedy in front of them to get themselves back to sleep.

Lapis didn't want to sleep, though. Peridot soon fell back to sleep in a matter of thirty minutes. But Lapis just sat there in the darkness, the murmuring of the movie in the background.

A cold of look of fear was on her face 'till sunrise.

_It's all my fault._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know it's really short, but I'm here for the weekend, and I don't have free time even then. We get an hour of free time a day, so bear with me until the end of the year.  
> I'm going to have to see a doctor. My mother thinks I have depression or something. I know this sounds cheesy, but she's probably right.  
> Okay, I know schools are bad. I get that. But here's the thing. I was severely abused and after that I came here, where I am chronically (And I mean everyday, not every other day, every. single. day.) treated like shit. I'm insulted, beaten up, called faggot and bitch and slut and cuck and all of that every single day. And I get it, it's a military academy, that's how people act. It's not how I act though. I've just learned to act like everyone else for survival. But not only that, but the staff does it to me. I have black mold (which is hazardous to humans and can kill them if they're around it for too long, and I've probably been close to it for a year now) and a broken sink falling off in my room, and they don't care just as much when my finger broke because of their fuck up of not doing a damn thing about it, forcing me to get surgery. And I'm not like the rest of those kids there. I work hard everyday, and get straight A's, and don't cause trouble for the school. But does that matter? No. Not to them. I'm just as disposable to them as I was to my abuser. And that brings back the self-hatred. I've only now started telling my mom daily about what's happening, because for once she sees how bad it is for me. Only now am I getting any kind of help for this. So I started thinking about how useless and worthless I am. I wrote a three page thing about how terrible I am, as if it was an essay about how worthless and awful I am. But really, who the fuck has self esteem after all this and being treated like I don't matter? Not me, that's for sure. So here I am, venting once again about my problems. I just yesterday was thrown out of my only group of 'friends.' Even though I've been there for all of them since the beginning of the year when they started here alone, they told me to fuck off at the military ball. Apparently, as they put it, I'm not part of the OG squad, even though I've been with them all since the beginning. They took a group photo without me. Told me not to be part of it. I spent the ball alone. They didn't even bat an eye at me.  
> Maybe I am worthless. So I'll tell you what. If you don't like my work, I don't give a fuck. If you think I vent to much, I don't give a fuck. I'm on my own. I've survived rape, abuse, brainwashing, and being an outcast to the only people I gave a shit about. So guess what? If I want to vent a loooooong fucking thing on a fanfic website, I'm going to. And I swear to god, if anyone tells me to fucking 'toughen up' ever again, I'm never speaking to you again. Yeah, sometimes you just need to toughen up, I know that. But fuck off, I have toughened up. Don't fucking tell me that. You don't know what the hell it's like to be in my situation. So don't be my commanding officer.  
> I'm my own damn general, rank or not.  
> It's in my fucking name.


	4. It's All A Mind Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis Lazuli. Former Navy Seal, proud patriot, upstanding citizen, Prisoner of War, both physically and mentally. Also, Garnet's a private eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've been keeping up with Eagle and Bluejay, you'll know that I'm back! For the record, I think this story is gonna be a little longer than 10 chapters, but not by much. I'm bad at writing small stories, always end up making up more ideas to the story later on, making it bigger by default. ALSO some nasally sounding guy stole like 300 dollars of my stuff on steam, and I can't get it back. So, it's time for a...  
> GENERAL ROGUE PLANET PSA! STARING: General Rogue I. Planet!  
> Now everyone, from one entity to another, remember that steam is a lot like Detroit. A lot of history and stories, and a lot of potential that's usually squandered, and of course, a FUCKTON of shady shit, both in the past and in the present. SO, remember this little tidbit: DON'T TRUST ANYONE ON STEAM. PERIOD. Don't be like me, and spend three years and hundreds of dollars on literally the most controversial gaming network that exists, and expect only good intentions. Trust me, I was good on steam, and never scammed anyone, and no one tried it on me. But, it did happen. 300 dollars gone. BUT, the guy was from China. So, since he's living in a communist country surrounded by air pollution, I think I helped him feed his family that night, so at least there's that.  
> Okay, enough ranting like a loser. Onto the fic.

"You need help."

Lapis never expected being called out by her girlfriend like that. Peridot was always afraid of talking outright about her time in the military, and barely ever questioned anything about it. Peridot herself always assumed she didn't know what she was talking about when it came to war, and she thought for a while that what Lapis was doing was quite normal for soldiers. She wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean that it wasn't bad. Still, it wasn't like she was in any danger. Lapis never really came close to harming her, and if anything, no one would dare mess with her once they knew who she was dating. However, she did have some odd behavior. Sometimes she would go blank in a conversation, her own attention to what Peridot was saying completely halting. It would take Peridot basically yelling at her to snap her out of her trance, with Lapis formerly just staring with dead eyes at the ground. Clearly, something was wrong. That was for certain.

"Help? What do you mean?" Lapis asked almost like an interrogator, lifting her head from the newspaper in front of her. 

"Last night... Lapis, that wasn't normal... D-did you even go back to sleep? Look at your eyes!" Lapis put her hands on her eyes, rubbing them in frustration over the blurriness of vision. Dark bags were under both of her eyes, and the bloodshot look in them showed a sense of paranoia around every corner. "See!? You're barely even awake!"

"I'm... Fine, Peri. Leave me alone."

"Lapis... You have to see a doctor."

"What are you, my fucking mothe-"

"You are going to see a goddamn doctor, okay!? I'm fucking worried about you, alright!? Can you just-"

**"I SAID I'M FUCKING FINE! DON'T FUCKING PUSH IT, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"**

Peridot's face went from concern and anger to outright fear. Her skin went ever more pale than it already was, and her mouth shrank down to a small peep of anxiety. She knows a voice like that. The voice that states something perfectly clear: _You're the weak, and I am the strong._

Lapis looked in horror as tears started building up in Peridot's eyes. She knew it would happen eventually in the back of her mind. She knew that eventually Peridot would push her, and Lapis herself would fall out of line and go too far. Her mind started racing as she bolted over to hug Peridot, trying to be as gentle as possible with the most sympathy. _Shit shit shit shit shit shit why did I have to fucking_ _yell!? Of all things, I thought yelling was the best answer!? Christ!_  

"Peri... I'm... I'm sorry... I just... I lose my temper too easily. I'm so sorry..."  Peridot wiped the tears off with Lapis' shoulder in the embrace, and looked back up to Lapis, who had a face of pure fear in her face now. Peridot did know one thing. Lapis was an officer of the Navy Seals. That's no rank to scoff at. She wasn't used to being _told_ what to do. Peridot did know best, however, and Lapis had to listen.

"L-listen... You're going to a psychologist... Okay? For me?"

 **Sigh** "... Okay."

* * *

 

 

 

Garnet was happily downing a bottle of whiskey, enjoying the quiet of her office while watching the movie she had on the small television she had loosely set up on her large desk. Business was slow for the tall, African woman, but that didn't bother her. She was easily pleased with money coming in slow, and in the end would always find a mission in Beach City. However the time to slack off was soon about to end, as she heard the front door of her dark office was soon pushed open.

"Is... Is this Ms. Fusion's office?"

"Yes ma'am. Please, come sit down." Garnet soon flung herself up from the chair she was dangerously leaning on and led the what seemed anxiety filled woman to the chair in front of her desk. Sitting back down behind the chair, Garnet paused the movie on the small television to take her full attention to the woman in front of her as she took out a pen and notepad on the desk, almost out of instinct. "Now, may I have your name for the record?"

"Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran... I just need someone to look into my husband's death."

"I see... Well, I'm a trained private investigator, I can help you in this dark time. Now tell me, what do you know about your husband's death?"

"Well, Ms. Fusion-"

"Please, call me Garnet."

 "Well, Garnet, I was working at the hospital when I was called by the police... Apparently, he was killed in a car crash. We own two vehicles, you see... He was just going out for groceries when it happened... Car slammed right into a tree, body couldn't handle the impact... Well, I know this kind of stuff, being a doctor myself, but..."

"But..?"

"I think it was murder. They blame the bad weather, but they only gave me one detail about a bullet."

"A bullet?"

"Yes, or at least the cartridge of a bullet. They told me it must have been a coincidence. 'A lot of kids get their parents guns that they brought from oversees recently. Shoot them in these types of places.' Pfft. Bullshit. I know that they're just lazy. Want to put it in the folder and be done with it. But his head was... Well, it was clearly destroyed! I... I know that he was shot. Someone must have shot him while he was driving!"

"Shot him? While he was driving? Ma'am, not to be insensitive, but that's a very difficult shot. I sincerely doubt anyone can just shoot tha-... Well..."

"Well what? Please, tell me!"

"Well, these days a lot of veterans are now coming back... But this wouldn't have been any soldier... This was either a sniper of some sort or... Maybe special forces."

"I'll pay you, I'm well funded. Even if... Even it's just an accident, I want to be sure. I don't want my girl growing up without a father and at the same knowing that someone _might_ have been in charge of his murder!"

"Don't worry, ma'am. If you can afford it, I'll look 'round the clock for the culprit."

"Thank you... Please, at the very least assure me it was fate... If not, please bring my husband justice. For me, and for my daughter Connie's sake."

* * *

 

 

"So... Lapis... You were a Navy Seal? What exactly did you do as a Seal?"

"That's classified, doc."

"Well, what _can_ you tell me about your job?"

"... I was an officer. I usually lead a small team or squad of Seals on raiding parties deep in enemy territory. We were both on the job as recon and raiding both enemy personal and enemy bases and armories. We would secure large caches of ordinance and intelligence across v lyubom meste and other occupied territory. All that translated to civi, I went into dangerous territory and killed everyone."

"I see. You were captured at one point, weren't you?"

"You got no right asking that, doc. Drop it."

"I'm sorry. I just think that's where this anxiety is coming from."

"Anxiety?"

"Well, yes. Nightmares, shouting, random flashbacks... You seem really troubled, but you're clearly not guilty about any of what you did."

"What I did? Beg pardon ma'am, but of course I'm not guilty. Do you have any idea what those sick fucks do to their own citizens? To their elderly and children? You wouldn't, would you?"

"No... I never have served."

"Ah... That explains it... Well, I'm fine, I assure you. I just have some bad memories, and it gets to me. You'd be doing the same thing when you see a little girl, about thirteen years old, getting lit on fire, having to hear her screams of agony as she cries out to her dead parents in front of her before falling to her knees and burning to death."

"..."

"Exactly... But don't worry... It's just a mind game."

Just a mind game.

The tape ended suddenly as the doctor looked back at Lapis, with Peridot holding onto her arm, a look of worry and shock on her face. Lapis' face herself was stone cold serious.

"Ms. lazuli, I believe it would be best if you from now on had checkups with a veteran of the military like yourself."

"Yeah... Good idea."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Damn" said Amsterdam. We gotta start pillaging some shit.  
> Yeah, that's a new reference.  
> Anyway, comments and feedback are appreciated as always!


	5. Pushing Your Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's something Peridot does with her parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I haven't eaten in three days. Gotta get back into the real deal, y'know?

Peridot shook a little looking at the phone number. She never had much of a need to call them, not at all. But if she didn't, she would start feeling guilty, or get the sense that they were starting to assume things about her, a memory she knows all too well and gets all too usual to be healthy.

She never had a huge hatred towards her parents, but more of a fear. She always had this sense in the center of her system that they never really knew what was best for her. She wasn't entirely right about it for the most part, but she assumed it all the same. Her parents were... Pushy. Not in the concept of being pushy for academics, far from it in fact. It was up to her through most of her life to work hard and get an education. There was no personal scholar or tutor or even a role model to look up to when it came to trying to put effort into her life. The only actual person she had to thank for getting this far into medical school as an educated free girl was herself. Well, that and her grandfather of course. 

No, her parents were pushy on 'how to live her life.' A common move from the parents that lived a life of stupidity and needless fucking with fate. Both parents were at one point hardcore heroin addicts. Didn't help the fact that they were also in not so clean jobs. Her father, Abram, was an expendable grunt in a lost army of a unmemorable mafia that's lost to time. Her mother, Mollie, was a prostitute. When they met in Reno, the two claim to Peridot that it was 'love at first sight...'

Bullshit.

The two had decided to play it dangerously, and wound up with a total accident. That one was aborted. Then they had a second one.

That one was Peridot.

And now, after all that, they began their own recovery. They became born again Christians. And anyone else would think that it was a step up.

Anyone else but Peridot.

Peridot was through her entire upbringing was taught 'the way of the lord' from two former junkies and criminals she called her parents. And Peridot would have been another unremembered child. Another poor soul who went down the mindless path of her own parents, who never gave the potential to succeed in life. Another small grave for another small life...

That is, it _would_ have been Peridot, had she not worked her ass off in school and worked towards her future, shitty parents or not. She studied, studied, studied, and played the fucked up rules of the education system, and still came on top. She was valedictorian in her Reno high school, and soon was able to make it to Beach City University. Some may think she shouldn't have done anything in school. She would beg to differ when she saved lives and made a paycheck big enough to make a bank robber blush.

And still, after all that effort, all that work, something her parents never even came to being close to, they thought they had the audacity to give her advice? Her only thoughts when they continued to bark orders and try to 'teach' her was...

_Are you fucking kidding me!?_

And there she sat, on that green couch she got at IKEA, looking down at her smartphone, to see the words. 

'Mom & Dad.'

"Time to pay the price." She sighed aloud into the calm apartment. Lapis in the meantime was out on the porch, enjoying a cigar, watching the calm ocean. At least she wouldn't have to see the damage, she thought to herself. With a reluctant motion, she taped the 'call' button. When she put it up to her ear, it was almost instant when the phone was answered.

"Yello?" The foggy woman said.

"Hey, mom." Peridot said, forcing herself not to groan.

"Aww, sweetheart, so good of you to call! How are you?"

"I'm fine. How are you and dad?"

"Oh, we're doing just fine ourselves, dear. We've been praying for you now that you've been on your own for such a long time! Are you doing okay without mom and dad?"

"Yeah, mom. I'm doing just fine. I've been getting closer and closer to being a nurse, but I think I'm going to go further and try to become a docto-"

"That's great, how's that boyfriend of yours, huh? How is Tyler? He seems like a strong boy when we put him up with you!" _Thanks for interrupting me like you always do, you bitch._

"Tyler and I broke up. He wasn't exactly treating me well."

"AGAIN!? Honey, you really need to think about your future! I want to have grandchildren, so does your father! We both want to see you have a future!" _Oh yes, having an education and getting a job that I love isn't having a future, of course._

"... Well I am seeing someone new."

"REALLY!? Oh, how great! Abram, she found someone she loves!" Peridot could hear her father in the background cheer her on, probably from the couch where he was lazily lounging in. "So, what's his name? When can we expect to see him?"

"... _Her name is Lapis Lazuli._ She's a Navy Seal."

"..." A long silence came from the other end. Peridot knew she was now playing fire. Her parents always had to fucking pull her back from who she was. Not this time. They had no power over her. Not anymore. "Peridot, listen to me right no-"

"Don't fucking 'listen' me, there's nothing you can say. I called you this time to make it get through your thick head. I'm. Fucking. Gay. And there's nothing you can do about it this time."

"Peridot, I'm putting your father on."

"Oh please..." The phone shuffled for a couple seconds before she heard her father's voice take her mother's place.

"Peri, what's this about you being confused again? We talked about this, young lady."

"I'm not confused. I have a girlfriend. That's all there is to it. I just wanted you guys to know."

"... Peridot, you need to snap out of this. I know you're on the east coast, and I know you're at that university. I know what kind of stuff those kids get confused by, but you don't have to be like that. Now, you need to stop this or we'll-"

"YOU'LL WHAT, HUH!?" Peridot barked, finally snapping. "WHEN GRANDFATHER DIED, HAVE GAVE THAT INHERITANCE TO ME! AND WHEN YOU TWO TOLD ME TO BUY A HOUSE, AND MARRY SO I COULD LIVE 'THE DREAM,' I KNEW YOU WERE FUCKING IDIOTS AND I SPENT IT ON MY EDUCATION, LIKE WHAT HE WANTED ME TO! SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, HUH!? STOP TALKING TO ME!? GREAT! I'M DONE BEING YOUR PET!"

Peridot hung up the phone, and threw it across the living room, and into a pile of clothes in her room, the phone flying through the open doorway as it slammed on the soft landing, saving it from a sudden death. As Peridot stormed off into the bedroom, Lapis heard the door slam behind her. She looked back to indeed see her blonde girlfriend off the couch she last was at. She wouldn't have been worried, had the door not been slammed loud enough to alert the neighbors.

"Great, what did I do this time?" Lapis scurried off the porch and put out her cigar. As she closed the porch door, she could hear something coming from where Peridot escaped to.

The muffled sounds of crying.

Usually a sound like that coming from her girlfriend would make her storm in their, guns-blazing in a fight or flight sense of defense. But this time, she remained calm, and tried to handle the situation gingerly. Slowly creaking the door open, she found the room to be almost pitch black, with the only lighting coming from the green lava lamp Peridot bought a while back. In the bed was Peridot, her face now buried into one of the pillows. She barely noticed the door open.

"Hey... You okay?"

 **Sniffles** "... Yeah..."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"... Sure **Sniffles** J-just..."

"Don't worry, I'm coming." Lapis walked over and curled up in the bed next to Peridot, who almost instantly latched on to her girlfriend. Peridot buried her head in her chest. Lapis was the first to speak up between the two snuggled up.

"So... What happened?"

"... My parents... I've complained about them in the past." Peridot said, her crying now slowing down to tears simply running down her cheeks. "I'm just tired of them. They've always held me back. Always tried to model me in their vision... Ever since the inheritance, I've been living on my own. I traveled all the way out here to go to school, and to get away from them. So they can't be constantly over me... I hate them so much... All they've done is try to break me. Sure, they put a roof over a head when I was young, and I do love them, but... So far in my adult life, all they're doing is causing problems for me... I've worked so goddamn hard, y'know? ... They don't even acknowledge it..."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"... Sounds to me like they're jealous."

"Huh?" Peridot said, her eyes looking back up at Lapis. God, did Lapis love those eyes of hers.

"Think about it, sugar. You're smart, you're able to handle life on your own, you're hardworking... You have a future. A future they never tried to have. They're jealous that you're getting what you deserve, something that they themselves never did. You have a chance to be happy and successful in life. And they can't handle their child being better than them... They're the fucked up ones here, not you."

"... I... Nobody's ever believed in me. Not my parents, not my teachers... Only person that really believed in me was my grandfather."

"I know that you've talked about him, but it's not true that he's the only person that believes in you."

"Oh yeah?" Peridot scoffed. "Who else is there?"

"I believe in you."

"... But-" Peridot was interrupted, but this time the interruption was welcome. She didn't really have a comeback. Lapis lowered her head, and kissed Peridot right on the lips. Peridot soon motioned in herself, deepening the kiss. For a couple seconds in the dark room they just held the kiss, the lava lamp still being the only cool light source for the two. "I told them about us, y'know... They're not happy with me..." Peridot finally said, as they stopped for a moment to breath.

"Oh yeah? Well then I better enjoy the time I have with you before I have to go gung-ho to get you back."

"What are you talking abou-" Peridot moaned as she again couldn't finish her sentence, as Lapis began to reach under her girlfriend's pants.

Hopefully the lord wasn't watching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ate oatmeal and I did pushups. I'm once again not hungry.  
> ... Actually, I really could go for a burger right now. Damn shame, really. Comments and feedback are appreciated as always!


	6. Let's Start From The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet picks up a trail, and Lapis meets her new psychologist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say...  
> Thanks. For being amazing and supportive readers. That's all.

The road was empty, the actual area far from any traffic. The closest highway was tens of miles away, and no real intersection was close. If the husband was taking this path to simply get groceries, it said a lot about the probably expensive and reclusive estate Dr. Maheswaran lived in. At least, a perceptive individual like Garnet could see that. 

When she parked her vehicle and stepped out, the obvious skid marks were the first clear sign that this was the scene of the 'accident,' according to the police detectives. Garnet herself always had a sixth sense about many things. For one, she always was a mind reader when it came to emotions, always being able to know when a lie was being plastered right at her from someone, or to simpler things like someone saying that they hate someone, when in reality that someone might be their true love. She also could easily tell what consequence any action might cause. This was one of the many reasons why the FBI wanted her to continue working, seeming as how she could always be the reasoning behind a group whenever everyone else went full gung-ho.

However, what she was by far best at was something much more broad: whether a death was an accident, or on purpose in some form. And right now, a change in the wind was almost like the back of her head whispering _'murder'_ in classic horrific fashion.

Faded caution tape was still there, but there was clearly no police in sight. Thankfully, their actual intention of packing up the evidence and going home must have had a long delay. Nevertheless, there was no security keeping Garnet from walking over the tape, and examining the already left out evidence.

And as sure as day, there they were... Just way bigger than what Garnet had anticipated.

2 gigantic 50 caliber shell casings, left near a crime scene sign. The 'A' sign was placed right up next to the shells, and Garnet took a moment to examine the clearly used casings. This wasn't some drunk redneck's gun being shot around in the middle of the night, no. Whatever used that type of ammunition shoots 50. Cal, and those type of guns almost seem like they were built to stop Goddamn T-Rex's. What was more interesting was the inscription on the side, though. Garnet read it aloud to herself.

"HEIAP. Military Ordinance." HEIAP stands for High-explosive incendiary rounds. Whoever, shot the rounds was in access to high quality military weaponry, with probably a elephant-killing sniper rifle.

Garnet knew by now the obvious truth. This was indeed a murder.

The police wouldn't step up, however. Of course they wouldn't. Enough chaos going on in these small cities and town with the war coming along, taking their children off to fight and breaking down community guts from the horrific news. They weren't going to hunt down some soldier who had fallen off the rocker.

Still, whoever it was, it was quite obvious that they weren't some grunt. They were definitely either snipers, or special forces. Now, Garnet was no G.I., and therfore wouldn't have any leads on who might have been accountable for the incident. But... She had two types of individuals it might have been, and she had at least one possible lead on one version.

Peridot, her friend, had that Navy Seal girlfriend of hers. She never met her officially, but she suffered from PTSD... Maybe she could give some insight?

That's when a warning shot was heard.

The sound of the rifle pierced the calm skies, echoing through the tropical and still elevated landscape. The bullet slammed right into the tree next to Garnet, only a couple of inches from her forehead. The shot was indeed incendiary, the wood immediately lighting on fire as the bullet made impact..

Garnet hadn't moved the entire time examining the shell casings, so whoever shot the round was either the worst shot in existence...

Or they wanted her to follow the sound.

When she looked back from where the bullet was shot from, it was clear that it was from some of the elevated hills that were progressively bigger than the area the road was on. It would take quite a hike, and whoever had shot the bullet would have most definitely been gone by now.

That didn't mean Garnet could just walk off, however. Curiosity of why her brain _wasn't_ splattered on the asphalt of a random road did get the better of her, as it would with most people in her shoes, and she sprinted towards the sound immediately.

There was no trail, and the path she had to take upwards was nowhere near comfortable. When she did finally reach the top were a clear outlook was, it was obvious that whoever had shot the bullet had escaped. On the ground, there was the same shell casing as the two on the road, and...

A mysterious note.

Reading the note, it gave a terrifying shiver down Garnet's spine.

**MY PATH IS FOR WARRIORS**

**SEND IT TO THOSE WHO NEED IT**

**AS FOR YOU**

**STAY OUT OF THIS CIVI**

 

Civi...

Slang for civilian.

This was definitely a uniform.

 

 

* * *

 

"Pleasure to meet you, name's Rose. Rose Quartz. Please, have a seat, if you'd like." When Lapis first introduced herself, she wasn't expecting a warm welcome. Over time, she felt... Guilt more than anything. Like she deserved to be shunned as much as her own family did by everyone else. Maybe they were right, in some ways. She saw that now.

Lapis sat down, the chair being a little too comfortable for her to be used to it. She preferred something a little more rough so that way she didn't get comfortable enough to be careless, in case something happened. She didn't know why that was a very important component in life, but she kept it anyway. Nevertheless, Lapis cooperated, and leaned back in the comfy chair, as the doctor shuffled through a folder. In a few seconds, he threw the folder across the room onto the open couch.

"Alright, officially I'm here to help you recover from the trauma that you've received over the years serving overseas." Rose the leaned back, and soon crossed her legs until she matched the same attitude, tone, body language, and even facial look that Lapis had taken. The woman was larger, sure, but almost looked like a mirror of Lapis' personality.

"... Unofficially, I know you're a smart human being, and I know what you're capable of. You're a Navy Seal, a member in one of _the_ _absolute_ most elite special forces group in... Well, the world, really. I know that you've done everything there is to do in the military. So, that being said, I'm really impressed that you're intelligent enough to seek help. You already showed up, alright? That's like, half the work done already."

"... Huh. Well aren't you charismatic."

"Yeah, I have my moments. So what's on your mind, exactly?"

"... Starting off the bat like that?"

"Well, no, you can ask some questions if you'd like."

"... Okay, what was your rank and job in the military?"

"Green Berets, Major... Shit, that was backwards, wasn't it? Eh, you get the idea."

"Heh. So, you're special forces as well?"

"Yeah, but I take it you have a different outlook on me, being in the navy?"

"Nah. I'm not one for branch rivalry, unless they start it. You a loud mouth?"

"Nope. I'm like you, I live and let live. It's just that most Seals I meet are all high and mighty of themselves. Gets old after a while. Coffee?" Lapis nodded with a polite smile, and Rose got up and continued talking as she poured two cups of coffee from the machine she had placed on a separate table next to her work desk. Lapis noticed a couple of odd objects on the table. A shiny M9 pistol, a watch, a small pink notepad, and a picture frame. On it was a young boy, a man, and Rose herself, all smiling. Simpler times. Most interesting was a sword. It was clearly an officer's sword, with a pink strap wrapped around the grip.

"How do you take it?"

"Black, like my soul. Hey, you keep a pistol in your office?" Rose suddenly looked over at the M9 on her table as she simultaneously poured the second mug.

"Oh, yeah. I always like to keep myself protected. You know how easy it is for people to just look up my address?"

"It's easy to do something like that?"

"Oh for damn sure! You can just plug in my name on a address finding website, those fucking estate things give you everything you'd ever need to know about my ass! Same for you as well. Hope you didn't make any drug lords pissed like I did. I never leave the house without a firearm."

 **Chuckles** "Nah, I didn't kill any mob boss, but I can see why you're cautious."

"Yeah, no kidding. Here." Rose passed the mug to Lapis before sitting back down on her chair with her own drink. The two enjoyed a sip, before Lapis coughed a bit, earning a grin from Rose.

"That- **Coughs**... That's some strong fucking good coffee."

"Yeah, it reminds me of my mess hall. One day, we all complained to the cooks 'We need stronger coffee!' 'cause the stuff they were serving us? Couldn't punch a rabbit's guts. So, when we _did_ get strong coffee, it was... I mean, it was the strongest shit any one of us had ever had. It made liquor look like smoothies, and we were all like 'Man, this stuff is too dark... They need to make it lighter...' but we never asked them 'cause we thought they'd fuck it up again, so we just sat there, trying not to gag while waking up after less than decent sleep every morning, drinking the strongest coffee the devil could make..." Rose then took a long sip before continuing "But now I miss the taste!" The two laughed as they continued to drink, Lapis still enjoying the coffee, but barely able to drink without making a sour face. 

"So... You say you're a therapist, but you act like an old friend." Lapis said, finally letting her guard down around the woman across from her.

"Well, yeah, but I figured I didn't to monologue about how 'you're a hero' and 'what you've been through has been rough' and all that shit most people say when talking to war veterans. You're a soldier, hell, and officer. You're not an idiot. I don't need to educate your sorry ass."

"Well, I thank you for that. I was expecting to come here with getting the same reaction most people in the business here give me. They... Try to hard. Try to give me sympathy. I'm not trying to have people feel sorry for me... I don't deserve it."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"... I've... I've let a lot of people down in my line of work, being an officer... People under my command have died... And it's my own fault... I don't deserve sympathy for that, y'know? I think people call it PTSD, but I deserve it. The trauma of war, to me, is more of something of a consequence. Something I deserve. Something that people like me who let other people _die_ deserve... Not everyone is as bad as me, but that doesn't mean it's true." Lapis looked at the floor while speaking, trying to focus at the words in her heads. They weren't voices, but rather signs. Signs that she blatantly saw in her mind and read out to herself.

 ** _you_** **_did this. This is your fault. They died because of you. You've let children die. You've let your comrades die. You're going to die alone. When Peridot finds out the truth, when you swallow your fucking pathetic pride and tell her, she's going to leave you like your parents. You need to-_**

"Y'know how many people have died under my command, Lapis?" Lapis looked up from the floor, her face giving a depressed look. 

"105. I've had 105 people die under my command... When I fought in the Scandinavian Peninsula though, we won with the help of the local rebels trying to bring back their country to stability and freedom of _the enemy._ Was it a sacrifice? Yes. Did I regret it? Absolutely. With all the guerrilla warfare and military tactics and all that clouded bullshit, sure, people might look at only the dark side... But we fucking  _won,_ and in those woods and mountains, we said 'Fuck you' to the domination of something terrible... People who've never seen the sight of war, they will say they've been to their own personal war, but they still have never seen real goddamn war. And to me, you don't have the right to declare what's moral in war and what's not until you've been to it... And that's why the identity of the 'evil officer' in the military is so common. That's why we eat ourselves up with guilt... Because we're supposed to, according to historians... but most historians are, in essence, pussies, in my opinion. We're not the heart of peace and war on the planet earth. We're the balls. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"... You're pretty blunt and crude for a psychologist." Lapis said with a grin. Lapis herself was starting to be actually comfortable around somebody else besides Peridot. For once, she actually had the confidence to be somewhere else besides at her side, or in the confides of their apartment. For once, she wanted to step outside, with the intention of moving on. It was... Peaceful.

"Blunt and crude? Good. I wouldn't want it any other way."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to tag Rose Quartz as a character, woops. I'll update that now.   
> Thanks for reading, comments and feedback are appreciated as always.   
> Also, a little question for all of you. I know many of you probably don't really fantasize about being in the military, but if you could, what country would it be in, and what branch would you join? (For example in the United States: Army, Navy Marine Corps., Coast Guard, and Air Force) I personally have always fantasized about being in control of powerful warfare. I'm not a fan of being a soldier or special forces, out there all gung-ho and trigger happy. I prefer being patient, calm, able to lead. I would be a tanker in the Army, a stealth bomber pilot in the Air Force, or a Captain of a nuclear submarine in the Navy. I don't want to fire the weapon, I want to control the chances of the starting of the war, and the ending of it. Dramatic, I know, but interesting to think about. This is just a question to interact with the readers who want to. Thought it might be fun, might start a branch rivalry war in the comments, though I wouldn't recommend it ;)


	7. Starry Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst finds out some news, Garnet gets in contact with Lapis, and Peridot meets Rose Quartz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY! It's been a while, I know. Well, I'm sorry. Truth of the matter is that this was my final week of my advanced classes for the summer, and I was completely focused on the final exam (like 112 math questions in 2 hrs ffs) and I didn't want to stress myself anymore than I needed to with writing. But now, I'm back, and the schedule can resume. Also, I kinda want to push myself to making stories with more fluff and even smut in them. It's funny, I feel more worried about writing fluff than I do when writing action. With action, I'm good at it. With fluff and smut, I'm 99% experimenting, and in the dark. Especially since Lapis and Peridot as a couple are lesbians, and I'm a guy lol I'm a fucking abomination. 
> 
> Whatever, gonna try to work on both fluff and smut in the future. I'll warn for both so that way you guys aren't like "Why is this chapter so goddamn terrible??"

Lapis' sharp eyes darted through the black text on the page over and over, the slightly annoying sound of the buzzing lights over her not really helping her concentration. Over and over, she went through any possible memories that could have anything to do with the short sentence. Nothing yet. Garnet waited patiently and quietly, sitting across from Lapis, occasionally taking a sip of her coffee. Why she was drinking coffee this late, however, was unknown to Lapis.

"And you found this on the road? ... Must've been intentional."

"It clearly was a warning. They knew I was coming, but whether that means they have contacts or they're just that good at spying, I'm not sure."

"Heh, the private eye has a private eye after her?"

"You'd be surprised how often that happens, actually."

Lapis went back to closing her eyes, concentrating on the words. Soon, she started to say the words in her head, like a broken tape recorder. _My path is for warriors... Warriors meaning soldiers, obviously. Garnet's a civi. She isn't welcome... They're looking for war veterans... But how? Who would be trying to look for veterans like me? Better question, Beach City is a small place in comparison to most areas. Why am I not being contacted?_

"That shot that fired at you, it was a 50 Caliber, right?" Garnet nodded in response. "Okay, but it shot explosive rounds... It could've been a sniper, sure, but snipers tend nowadays to usually go for a more compact sniper rifle- at the very least, a sniper rifle with a silencer. This person didn't. Hell, they didn't even try to make it seem quiet. They didn't just want your attention... They were sending a message with that man's death."

"What kind of message?"

"A message of strength. 'We have guns. We have no issue killing people.' This person definitely isn't working alone. They're asking for people to come see them, like a group or gang."

"... That could just be something psychological. Something about the voices in their head, making them work alongside their confused thoughts, nobody else's... But I sort of have a feeling that you're right."

"Well, you're the one with the sixth sense. Me? I just get lucky."

"Don't ever doubt luck. It can be the greatest virtue possible of one person sometimes."

"That's real insightful," Lapis said, stepping out of her own chair. "But I'm gonna leave the detective work for you. I'll tell you if anything happens to come back to me in my memory, but so far, I have no clue." Garnet sighed a little in disappointment. Why is it that there was always a 'dead end' in every case? Couldn't for once she just have some easy way of telling that x was cheating on y, or x killed y over z? Nope. No easy equations for her. It was always calculus.

"Give me a call if anything comes up. Sorry for wasting your time."

"Well, It wasn't that ba-" Lapis heard her phone vibrate to a text. "Gimme a sec." Lapis said as Garnet moved away from the table herself. The text was from Peridot, and it seemed to have a picture attached.

_Now would be a good time to go home, Lazuli. The game's on. -Peridot_

The picture was of a baseball game playing on the television in their slightly cramped bedroom. It was sort of hard to make out, (probably due to how Peridot isn't exactly a photography major) but Lapis could see Peridot's pale, unclothed legs stretched out and crossed, over the bed covers, the television being the only thing to actually lighten up the actual sight.

This of course, to Lapis, was code word for 'I'm horny, and you're taking too long to get home, so get home now, or I'm masturbating and you'll be unable to fuck for the night.'

"Well, I need to get home. The game's on."

"What game?"

"Y'know, the game. It's on. I, uhh, watch it."

"Huh. Didn't know about a game tonight."

"Yeah, well it's on tonight, and I gotta get home _right now._ Been a pleasure speaking with you, Garnet."

"You as well, Lapis." The two shook hands as Lapis hurried out the front door and towards the street that led to their apartment complex.

 

The stars were out that night, and even a place full of sunlight and summer vibes could be absolutely freezing after dark. Lapis could practically see her breath as she walked far from the glow of the small cafe where she just was at, and through the now fairly empty town. Occasional cars would pass by her, but not many. For the most part, it was the quiet that got to her.

Lapis pondered whether she deserved death constantly. As much of a mood killer that thought was to the other idea of going home to have sex with your girlfriend, it still was a thought forced onto her by her own sick subconscious. Through her life, she had done a lot, but many had died simply because she was just _that good at killing._ Being a Seal made her the big boogie man of the jungle sometimes. The type of soldier that made enemies have goosebumps just from being told 'they're might be a special forces group on our tail.' In the end though, Lapis didn't feel bad for killing any of _the enemy._ She didn't think of herself as being wrong for protecting her country.

No, the problem was of all the things she _didn't_ do... She remembered innocent people dying because her team hadn't been fast enough to the rally point. She remembered her squad getting picked off left and right because they didn't take the time to retrace for an area with air support. It was all... The little mistakes that mattered. The butterfly effect. And even now, as she walked by, she thought about that butterfly effect. Was it just a curse for what had happened to her? Her parents leaving her out cold after she became an officer and passed BUDS training. Her friends never really contacting her afterwards, worried that their reputation in their cushioned jobs would be in peril for being friends with an 'American-bred killer.' Seemed like she didn't really have much. She remembered how she spent her first leave from base and back home, around Christmas. She spent the entire time like a hermit in a hotel she stayed in. She spent that time doing four things: sleeping, eating, working out in the gym at the hotel, and getting drunk while watching TV. It was more than just depressing... It was like she stuck with a schedule in her life based solely on making herself bored and ready to go back and fight. Talk about a merry Christmas, not to mention a Happy New Year.

That's how most soldiers were nowadays. They had nothing much to fight for other than the flag they were under. Sure, _the enemy_ had a personal vendetta against America and their allied countries, but all their military had now was the ability to say 'they wanted a fight, we'll give 'em a fight.' The terrorist acts were in the government's favor half the time. It wasn't a secret or anything, and it didn't really make them seem opportunistic, even though it probably should have. Now their entire society was based around a fit system that was horrific to Lapis. Have a brain and lots of money? Then go to a college! Don't have money? Go to a cheaper college! Don't have a brain? Go into sports! Oh wait, that doesn't really work out as often, at least not without money.

Don't have either? ... Join the military. It's either that, or 'don't live up to anything.' That's how society was now, in Lapis' eyes. Sure, there were artists, and sure, they're were people in sports, but at the end of the day, did any of that set to equivalent to how much the military was in the face of their youth?

As Lapis asked that question to herself, she crossed some train tracks, and to the far right in the distance where the older roads were, a US Marine Corps. billboard was up. The lights on the board lit up the entire picture, a gunnery sergeant saluting in a Marine uniform, the bold picture of the Marine Corps. logo on the side of darkened, bold words.

**For Our Country.**

**For Us All.**

Lapis always knew some kids were convinced to enlist just because of signs like those... She wondered if that's why most KIA's in her squad were younger ranks, younger people. She was young too, though. So maybe she just sucked as an officer, not really remembering what Rose had told her weeks ago. She liked torturing herself like that. Not really listening to the advice and helpful words given to her. For the most part, she would only remember them whenever it didn't matter, and instead every other point in time let it eat her up inside.

Still, though... She didn't see herself as much of a monster for her shortcomings as she used to. That much was for sure. She had to give Rose kudos for that, at least. She sure knew how to make her feel confident about her violent history. What was it she sad a while back? 'Does me being a person in the military who kills make me evil enough to not raise a kid? Nope. Just makes me cooler, and means I'm able to put up with all the bullshit involved in parenting.'

'Same thing goes for you, Lapis. Are you any worse of a girlfriend for Peridot?'

 

"... But she is getting better." Peridot said, sighing into the phone, sort of talking subconsciously to give herself some level of relief. It wasn't like she was lying. Lapis was in fact acting a lot... Calmer now. It seemed like Lapis was sort of just building up her own paranoia about herself. At least, that's what Peridot took from it, and while she wasn't that great with reading people, she still could at least tell her lover's attitude on life had improved. Lapis, on most occasions was quite fine, happy even. She would do her usual rounds of stupid jokes that Peridot would be nice enough to laugh to, even if they sort of got repetitive at times, and she would still make fun of any actor on the planet Earth whenever she saw them even slightly break character in any movie they watched together. In all and all, Lapis was sort of just herself, Lapis, without any military persona involved.

However, Lapis would still have her slight breakdowns. She never really cried, just sort of suffered in silence like a quiet puppy that had been put out to the dog house. Hell, she even sort of made the same facial expressions as one. Sometimes it would be from a slight trigger. A loud sound effect that shocked her, a darker topic on any news channel that might have been on. Sometimes it would just be randomly, out of silence, like when they're just calmly sitting on the couch, with Lapis reading some magazine while Peridot drained her entire afternoon on studying for her college courses that week. All of a sudden, Lapis would remember... Something that seemed to bring back some sort of nightmare. Post traumatic stress. Clearly something serious, at least in Peridot's eyes. It would usually take an hour or two of just trying to bring Lapis back to being calm, and another hour before she was back to her usual cheery and slightly obnoxious self. Well, the kind of obnoxious Peridot could relate to, at least.

"Yeah, well Lapis ain't exactly going backwards." Rose replied, while throwing darts at a dartboard in her office. She had stayed late that evening for some extra paperwork, and had only now remembered that Lapis had given Peridot's phone number in case of an emergency. Rose was, in retrospect, one of the few veterans Lapis knew that she could trust. Besides Ed, Guts, Eyeball, Doc, and Spook, there was Peridot, and that was it. The difference however between Rose and Lapis' other friends was the fact that Rose knew how to calm her down. Everyone else would probably just make it worse, or try to get her a beer, which wasn't always the best solution.

"Do... Do you have any advice?" Peridot asked, not really paying attention to the baseball game on the television in front of her.

"Advice?" Rose asked, trying to hold back from swearing after missing a dart and nearly damaging the wall.

"Yeah, like... How to keep her mellow. I've never been good with people, but I don't want Lapis to leave me just because I suck at talking." Rose laughed a little, but Peridot actually meant that. She had always had a paranoid feeling about being alone. She was soooo damn tired of her parents' bullshit with shoving a bunch of guys who were kind of assholes into her life, that she sort of felt this to be a way to find some closure with having romance in her life.

"Well, to be honest, the best thing to do is to do two things. One, be good. You don't have to be good with people to still be supportive to them, and having respect for them. Keep treating her the way you wanna be treated, and judging by Lapis' character, she's going to do the same to you. Be sure to communicate with each other if you have any disagreements or have any bad days, and always have a mutual understanding of each other. Don't overstep boundaries, and don't be overly secretive. Secondly, give into creature comforts. Take her out to the movies, go out to eat, be a little seductive sometimes, y'know, if you can manage that, and if anything at all, ask her about the good times she's had in the military."

"Good times in the military?" Peridot asked, a little confused.

"Well yeah! You ever listened to a combat veteran talk about their time serving? Forty percent is the actual job. The other sixty percent is just us dicking around and getting ourselves into stupid situations." Well, Peridot felt a little stupid for not realizing that herself. No shit, of course Lapis had some stupid story tucked away that she probably had been waiting to jaw on about. Lapis wasn't usually talkative, but she was amazing at telling any story to anyone, especially Peridot.

"So, all of that, huh? Shouldn't be hard."

"Nope, shouldn't. Do that-" Rose threw the metal dart as hard as she could, and got a fierce bullseye right into the center of the dart board. "-And things should go just fine."

 

Lapis slammed the front door closed by accident, which made herself sort of flinch. That door always seemed way too loud when it was even _slightly_ pushed. The living room of the small apartment was almost completely pitch black, besides the small, orange light on the stove showing the time being on, and also the yellow light of the time (off an hour or so) on the microwave. Lapis squinted at the oven light to see that it was around midnight, and Peridot might have already been asleep. This sort of troubled Lapis, but it wasn't like she was gonna wake her up just to get her 'blondie-fix' as she put it. Peridot was like a drug to her. Very easy to get addicted to, and very hard to go on without. Still, Lapis wasn't _that_ desperate.

It did bring her sigh of disappointment when she walked in however. Peridot seemed to be asleep, her eyes shut and her mouth open, her sloppy blonde hair across the pillow she was laying on. She was too peaceful looking for Lapis to wake up, so She just planned to brush her teeth, throw off her clothes, and cuddle next to her already dead-tired girlfriend.

However, just as Lapis had loosened her belt and pulled down her jeans, the moment she went for the bathroom light to get ready for bed, a soft pillow hit her right in the shoulder. This, at first, petrified the blue-haired veteran, only to realize that the sound she was now hearing was Peridot's loud cackle. Lapis rolled her eyes with a bit of a smirk.

"YOU ACTUALLY FELL FOR THAT! What's the matter, Navy Seals didn't teach you about fake sleeping!?"

"Oh, excuse me for expecting college girl for sleeping on the job!" Lapis joked, throwing off her jacket two shirts to reveal her bra.

"Well, whatever, good to see you! Now get your butt in here, I'm freezing and I've been needing a heating system."

"Wow, was that nerd for 'please have sex with me?'" Lapis snorted as she turned on the sink to wash her face.

"No! Well, sort of, but seriously, we need a better heater. I just never thought I would need one since this is, y'know, Beach City!"

"Yeah, well, the unexpected should be expected." Lapis teased, as she turned off the sink and made her way for the bed.

 **Sighs** "Whatever, Ms. Mysterious. Just do me a favor, and heat me up."

"Your wish is my command, highness." Lapis said, lunging herself into the covers of the now shared bed, quickly getting on top of Peridot. 

"I didn't mean it like tha- ..." Peridot couldn't finish her sentence as a kiss suavely came to her lips. The blonde pushed forward, deepening the kiss, and the two enjoyed the long, comforting silence and darkness mixed with romance and love. Lapis broke the kiss after a solid minute or so of them being stuck in a beautiful limbo, and the bluenette teased a little, simply saying before continuing

_"So, how was the game?"_

_"Oh, please just shut up and make out with me."_

 

 

* * *

 

The four veterans waited less than patiently in the car, faint radio music playing in the background.

"Man, where the fuck is that ghost?" Doc said, looking around through the window of her side of the car.

"Probably drinking again. Or fighting someone. Or drinking and fighting someone." Guts joked while going through the glove compartment looking for her gum.

"Hey, remind me again," Ed asked "why the fuck are we even waiting for him? Can't we just, y'know, _take the damn car?"_ He stated, while reblogging a music post about death metal on Tumblr.

"Oh, I'm sorry, do _you_ know how to drive stick _and_ deal with Spook's bitching about his shit being touched? That's too much for me, honestly."

"Next time, we're taking my car there." Eyeball stated blankly.

"Okay, no offense there Eyeball, but your car is like a damn stagecoach wagon." Guts bluntly replied. The rest of the passengers laughed at the now slightly pissed one-eyed Ranger growling in response

"Fuck off, it's not that bad-"

"Muthafucka, it IS that bad, I'm not breaking my back, ass and thighs just 'cause you can't put up with Spook's lack of staying on schedule!"

"Whatever, you fucking bird lover."

"BIRD LOVER!? What's wrong with birds!? You gotta deathwish, going into enemy territory without any damn heli support?"

 

Minuted passed of the four simply bickering over nothing, when the door to the shady house busted open. A man with a bloody nose came racing out, to see a man in a now worn and slightly bloody suit marching out after him.

"Wait, is that..?" Ed asked aloud.

A slam to the bloody man's face came as the suited man grabbed him by the collar and punched him to the ground. The four simply observed from the vehicle, their minds still too curious to get out of the vehicle and stop anything.

"THINK IT WAS FUNNY, HUH!? THINK IT WAS FUNNY TO FUCKING HIT HER, C'MON, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A REAL MAN, PROVE TO ME YOU WALK THE TALK YOUR ASS MAKES, HUH!? GONNA MAKE YOU SPIT OUT YOUR GODDAMN WISDOM TEETH, YOU PERVERTED FUCK! C'MON, I WANNA-"

"Shit, that is him! C'mon, we gotta stop him from killing that guy!" The four flung themselves out of the car, and the four made their way over to the bloody group. By the time the four had been able to pry Spook off the man, the individual's face was practically a bruised pulp. Doc, Eyeball, and Ed grabbed the man and carried him inside the dimly lit house.

"I-I need a doctor..."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a doc." Doc said, getting some paper towels from the kitchen.

Guts had been able to keep Spook on a leash long enough to be able to calm him down. Keeping him in a grip, the pale agent was practically using the strength of a crowbar to pry himself free.

"Hey, HEY! GOTTA CHILL OUT, BRO! CHILL OUT SPOOK!"

"NO! LEMME AT 'EM! FUCKING CREEP DESERVES IT, FUCKING JACKASS DESERVES TO FUCKING DIE-"

"EY, SPOOK, MAN YOU GOTTA CALM DOWN NOW! WE GOTTA CALM DOWN, JUST CALM DOWN..."

Spook barked towards the house where the man was

**"I'M GONNA GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES, AND PISS IN YOUR SKULL! YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG CIA AGENT!"**

"YO! CHILL, MAN! CHILL... Chill..." Eventually, Spook finally calmed the Hell down, and went back to a... Slightly calmer version of rage.

 

Five minutes went by of Spook trying not to kill someone, and Doc trying to patch the man up, before the two split before the entire neighborhood woke up. As Spook flung himself in the front seat and turned on the car, he beckoned for his spare suit. Ed threw over the suit, to which the agent was able to sloppily throw his now bloody suit underneath him, and force the clean, black suit over him before buckling in his seatbelt and preparing to leave the driveway.

"Stars, Spook. What the fuck was that drama all about?" Guts teased.

"Oh, well... That's a story for another day."

"Oh, yeah? You gonna write fanfiction over it?" Ed replied joking, the other three now laughing over Spook trying to explain himself.

"I fucking hate all of you! I fucking write stories, yeah,for fuck's sake!"

"Oh yeah, how's that Percy and Paulette lesbian fanfiction going, Mr. CIA!?" Eyeball taunted. "How the fuck do you even write that shit, it's LESBIAN FANFICTION!"

"OH YEAH, LEAST I CAN WEAR SUNGLASSES, YOU ONE-EYED GRUNT!"

"You, oh little-" Eyeball kicked Spook's seat from the back, jolting the agent in front.

"HEY, YOU- Oi, you fucking- d-don't do that... You fucking kick the seat- HEY! You fucking kick the seat again, and I'm coming over there, and I'm kicking you right in the ovaries, not even kidding you."

"Oh yeah, you do that, and I'mma kick you in the dick, how 'bout that?"

"LADIES, GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS OF ALL AGES, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT, CAN WE PLEASE GET OUTTA THE GHETTO BEFORE WE ALL GET SHOT, SPOOK PROBABLY JUST BEAT A GANG MEMBER TO NEAR DEATH!" Ed interrupted, getting everyone off each other's throats.

"He's gotta point... I don't want my career as an agent to tank because I decided to get shot in a gangsta's neighborhood."

 

A half an hour later, the group were finally recharged of drinks from their favorite store, and were on their way to Lapis' house, only for Doc to get a text from her that she had other plans that night.

"I'm tellin' you guys, it's that blonde girl." Doc said, after saying the text aloud to the car.

"Oh the college girl? Yeah, but she seems alright. Besides, it's not like we're exactly the best people to be around when having a bad day." Spook replied.

"Amen." Eyeball jokingly said.

"Hey, you keep that religious shit outta my face!" Ed barked.

"I'M FUCKING JOKING, YOU METAL HEADED SATANIST!"

"Hey, remind me again, what the fuck is a- ... _What the fuck!?"_ Spook was caught in the middle of his question, when a large, black van stopped in front of the vehicle in the middle of the street. Spook was quite shocked, but immediately went for the horn, honking loudly at the van in front of them. "HEY ASSHOLE, THIS ISN'T EXACTLY A PARKING SPACE!" No movement came from the several for several seconds, then suddenly, two men opened up the van's side doors, and stepped out into the darkness. Nobody in the car needed to say anything, as everyone pulled out a pistol from underneath their separate seats (Ed being in the middle of the back had to be given one by Doc.)

The men slowly crept their way to Spook's car, and both pulled out a similar piece of paper and stamped it onto the two front windows. Just as Guts and Spook were about to fire, the two men raced back into the van. On the stamped pieces of paper read:

**NOT HERE TO HURT ANYONE**

**HERE TO DELIVER A MESSAGE TO ANYONE WILLING TO RECEIVE**

Before anyone could blink, the two men had jumped back into the van, and raced off.

"The... The FUCK WAS THAT!?" Eyeball shouted.

"I don't know, but I don't like it." Guts responded.

"... Shit, okay everyone, we're getting out, watch our asses." Spook and Guts quickly opened their own doors and looked to the other side of the stamped notes placed on the glass. Each one had two letters, one for each in the car. The two raced back into the car as fast as they had gotten out.

"Well, well, well. Looks like we're invited to the Officers Club." Spook joked.

"... Really?" Asked Ed.

"NO! I WAS- ugh, never mind."

Spook read the letter, which seemed to be in almost golden text. Quite off putting...  Yknow, _other_ than the giant black van and mysterious messengers.

"It's like a... Invitation to a gang. For veterans."

"Should we go?" Asked Guts.

"... Hell to the no! This shit's gonna probably get us killed! Or worse, _waste our time!_ " Everyone in the car shrugged in agreement. All of them were sort of lazy slobs of veterans at this point who had no need for _more_ craziness. "But, uh, we should hold onto them. Just in case. Don't wanna go to the cops, maybe it's literally just some secret club or something. Still..."

"Never know when stuff like this could help out."

 

 

* * *

 

Peridot curled up like a kitten next to Lapis, who was now just getting done texting her friends back so that way they knew she wasn't going out tonight. Arms wrapped around the blue haired beauty, who was now keeping Peridot cozy since the blonde was now not only under a comfortable blanket, but also scrunched up next to her girlfriend. Once the last word was put in, and the message sent, Lapis almost haphazardly threw her phone over to where her jeans were last left on the floor, barely cushioning the fall of the phone. Lapis then gave all her attention to her lover, going right back to peppering the blonde with kisses on the cheeks, lips, neck, etc. 

"Y'know, have I ever told you **Kiss** your eyes **Kiss** remind me of stars **Kiss** whenever we're kissing?"

"You don't need to flatter that much, babe." Peridot cooed, her face in an expression of bliss and peace.

"It helps, doesn't it?" Lapis said, before giving one big kiss on the blonde's forehead.

"I-It's sometimes a bit overwhelming... I'm not used to being _treated so nicely_ by the person I'm in a relationship with... Let alone another girl."

"Well, I _am_ just as nerdy as you, just in different things- maybe it's one of those cliche 'match made in Heaven' type of things."

"How cheesy can you be after having sex?"

"Is that a test?" Lapis said, her dark blue eyes gazing into Peridot's own bright green ones. "How about..." Lapis paused, a smirk on her face. "... _You're so beautiful, time itself stops just to congratulate you. That's why I can never stop looking at you. Time freezes me up."_ Peridot stuck her tongue out and pushed her away, earning a giggle from Lapis.

 **Sighs** "I don't deserve you." Peridot said, a sigh of happiness that made Lapis all the more in love. Lapis herself couldn't act normal seeing Peridot act this way. Her love felt so good, it _hurt._ It was like how people loved chocolate, but eating too much could make them sick. That's how Lapis felt. She was _sickened_ with love, Peridot pretty much in the same feeling. Peridot herself Loved everything about Lapis' presence. Around her, she just felt... Safe. At peace. Like everything could go wrong everywhere else in the world, but here, in Lapis' arms, it was physically against the laws of physics for her to be harmed. For Lapis, there was no more pain from war. For Peridot, there was no more pain from her forceful family and enemies. The two felt the safest and the sanest just being together.

"Trust me. It's _me_ who doesn't deserve _you,_ Dot." Lapis replied, slightly moving in to smell Peridot's hair. _Oh my stars, she always smells like lemons, it's incredible_ she subconsciously said to herself.

"I feel like it's not like... One of us doesn't deserve the other... _It's like we both deserve to rely on each other... Like we're perfect together."_

 _"I can live with that just as easy as I can live with you. And believe me, that's pretty easy."_ The duo kissed once more on the lips for a long, peaceful minute, before eventually fusing together in their hug, their heads on each other's shoulders, and their arms wrapped around the other's body.

They stayed like that for a minute or so, expecting to peacefully drift to sleep... But...

Peridot's phone buzzed out of nowhere. At first, Peridot groaned in frustration, the blonde not wanting at all to deal with anyone else right now but the bluenette attached to her. Eventually, however, it was Lapis, who guessed that if someone she knew was texting her now, in the middle of the night, it could've been important.

Peridot thought that Amethyst was just sending her a stupid meme or something though, and wouldn't budge. So Lapis, her head facing the nightstand, reached out one arm away from Peridot's back and stretched out to grab the device.

"Here. Just see who it is, then we can go back to sleep." Peridot grumbled in frustration, but, reluctantly, took the phone from Lapis' offering hand, and read the text. Lapis waited patiently for Peridot to throw the phone back to the nightstand, only to notice Peridot's eyes widen, and her body move out of the position she was in with Lapis and focus her entire attention to the text.

"Hey, hey! What's going on, sugar?" Lapis asked, extremely concerned. She hadn't seen Peridot's face like that since the first time they met, when she was running from that shitty ex of hers. Peridot looked back at Lapis, a look of pure shock in her face.

"Pearl just texted me..."

"Amethyst's girlfriend, Opal... She's dead."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make my fingers type more, and feedback makes my eyes sharper. They're both vital, and appreciated, as always.


	8. The Forty Percent Rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minds will feel bruised when the Frog Voice is used. -USMC Drill Instructor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone here has parents that have been hard on them for no good damn reason other than their own incompetence or have been holding you back from succeeding in life, consider this chapter payback.

The next couple weeks seemed fine for Peri and Lapis. Peridot was hard at work, her funds now being pressured more and more from her medical school. Thankfully, since Lapis’ paycheck was of the level of a Navy Seal officer, and since both Lapis and Peri were extremely low maintenance when it came to money, Peridot was still able to afford both the apartment and her schooling. Peridot would constantly make Lapis aware of how grateful she was, but Lapis always gave a quiet ‘no problem.’

Lapis didn’t need the money, she served her country for that reason alone. She didn’t have a family, she didn’t have bills breathing down her neck, and she didn’t really spend much money on herself. Peridot’s ability to be whatever she wanted was possible simply from her job, and if her paycheck meant not only a bright future for a hard working person who deserved it, but a person that she was deeply in love with, Lapis had no reason to turn her down. Lapis didn’t really have anything else to turn to in life. It was just her, and Peridot. And she wasn’t complaining.

Lapis spent the day how she usually did. Wake up at 0600, run a 5k for the morning wakeup, do some PT at the park, 0800 get breakfast for her and Peri. Chill out with the cute nerd for about an hour before she walks to x class of some sort. Spend the next hour or so watching TV, ~~go to look at the jeweled ring she stole from her mother years ago, contemplate for a half an hour on whether to propose to Peridot, start feeling like she’ll say no, store the ring back in her lucky ammo box.~~ Take a walk to think in silence for a little while, go to the beach, have some fond memories of her first major mission. 1400, meet up with friends for a couple hours, end up breaking the law or having a run in with other veterans roaming, force burger (with is really bad for PT but whatever) down throat, regret decision of eating too fast later, take a walk back home around 2000, spend the rest of the night with Peridot, (cuddle like dorks, have sex, watch a scary movie, etc.)

Tonight was different though.

Very different.

Lapis looked up to the windows of the apartment to see all the lights on. Peridot must’ve been studying or somethi-

There was more than one figure standing behind the curtains of the balcony of the apartment.

Lapis’ mind started racing, coming up with two possible situations. Either 1, somebody broke into their apartment and was robbing the place, or 2…

Peridot wasn’t alone, and was possibly in danger.

Lapis immediately pulled out her pistol and contemplated whether to call her associates, only to slowly calm down, considering Peridot just brought some friends over. She may have had patience, but her trigger happy friends didn’t. As soon as someone pointed in the right direction, that direction was _gone._ Maybe calling in the cavalry wasn’t such a good idea just yet.

First, Lapis tried to call Peridot, to see if she would answer. The phone went straight to voicemail. That alone was a bad sign. Peridot _always_ kept her phone on and fully charged if she could help it. She must’ve turned it off, but why?

Lapis walked slowly and quietly up the steps, her right hand gripping her concealed holster, her fingers wrapped around her 9mm, the cold air being too cool for her to sweat bullets like her body was trying to. She put her right ear up to the door of the apartment, trying to hear any commotion happening inside.

Dead silence.

Lapis slowly pulled out the apartment key, and opened the door. Stepping inside, she still had her right hand on the pistol.

The place had been cleaned up, as if they were having guests. Peridot always was disorganized with all her work, and usually kept all of her clutter and books in the living room. It was all neatly tucked away however. It almost didn’t look like the same house. That didn’t bring fear to Lapis over herself, but did it _ever_ make her fear for Peridot’s safety. It was almost an insidious thing, to have everything in the house look the same, but not. Almost some kind of subtle torture.

Lapis turned from the hallway into the living room to see three people. Two old strangers, both blonde, both green eyes, and one male and one female. They were sitting on the couch together.

Opposite of them was Peridot, shaking like a leaf, eyes red, face more pale than usual. She clearly had been crying, tear streaks still down her face from her eyes. She looked… Too broken to speak.

The woman was the first to Talk.

“Ah, if it isn’t the trouble maker we’ve been hearing all about. Well, it’s about time you showed up! You have some packing to do.” Every fiber in Lapis’ body already despised the woman. She was _weak._ Weak in every way. Sure, anybody can be physically weak, and that was fine. No, she was _morally weak, effort-wise weak._ She looked like she thought she was the alpha of the pack. Nose up in the air, tone and attitude in a very judgmental fashion, personality completely intolerable, yet intolerable to anyone else but herself. The perfect self-entitled, egotistical coward. The kind of individual Lapis looked down upon in every way.

… Still, Lapis was open-minded enough. She wouldn’t barge in questioning why her girlfriend was in a traumatic looking mental breakdown, or why two strangers were in her house, but simply try to act calm, and keep her cool. Under pressure, Lapis could keep her head up, no matter what.

“Well, what’s going on here?” Lapis asked in a stern voice.

“We’re Peridot’s parents. I’m Mrs. Diamond, I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about me. This is my husband and Peridot’s father, Mr. Diamond. You’ve been causing our daughter to lose her mind, and frankly, we’re considering pressing charges. You’ve gone on with your butch lesbian militant-type attitude and have made her start thinking… Well, like a gay! We will _not_ allow this, and we’re putting a stop to this brainwashing. More specifically, _your_ brainwashing. You’re moving out of this apartment, Peridot following suit, though she will come back home with us. We’ve already packed her things, but you still need to get your stuff out of here. You ever come near us or our daughter again, we will be pressing charges. You don’t live here anymore, and you’re never seeing Peridot again. Understand?”

Peridot looked up, tears still silently rolling down her cheeks, a face of defeat. She should’ve known, she thought to herself. She should have known they would come after her! Of fucking course they would! The last thing they were going to do was let her win in this matter. She just hung up the phone and that would be it!? And now everything’s ruined. All her work at the university, in vain. All her tries to get away from a forced relationship, impossible now. She couldn’t even choose whether to love or not with her parents in her life! She couldn’t ever…

Ever see Lapis again. That, even with all the hard work she had put into stone in her life in vain, definitely hurt the worse. For once in her life, she’d found someone who could protect her, someone who wasn’t going to turn on her or force her to do anything… And that person was gone. It was the first chance she had with someone of the same gender, and the first person to actually be a positive and something to look forward to rather than the opposite… And it was also the last. Her hands clenched into fists, the blooding rushing from her fingers. She wanted to scream, but she didn’t have the courage to fight…

Lapis did though.  Lapis was rebellious. Lapis was a fighter, a special forces officer, she could stand up to them! She could-

“Well, alright… That seems fair.” Lapis said, calmly. Peridot looked up, a face of panic and worry now showing, eyes widening and mouth slightly open in confusion. The parents seemed surprised by the answer. They probably wanted a fight. “Just, uh let me ask you this… What is going to happen to Peridot’s career? She’s going to graduate soon from medical school.”

“Oh nonsense to all of that. She needs to be a mother, bear fruit! … And you’re not exactly helping in that affair, are you?”

“Lapis, _please-“_ Peridot said quietly at Lapis before being interrupted again.

“So, if you could just leave, we too can get on the road back home where she belongs.” Lapis nodded, a blank expression on her face. She showed no emotion, no worry or joy, nothing. Her reaction had unlimited potential at that minute. Nobody could read her. Nobody could explain her. She was like a being in third person, knowing all, yet not communicating to the rest of existence. She was simply… Thinking. What she was thinking however, nobody in that room, not Peridot or her parents, could conjure up an answer for…

But they would get an answer. Subtlety was basically in Lapis’ way at that point, and subtlety sure as all Hell had it coming any second.

“Well okay…. Peridot, do you want this to happen?” Lapis asked, calm as ever, looking down at Peridot. She was only given one answer. A simple shaking of the head.

Lapis looked away, staring ahead at the balcony between the couch and chair. She inhaled and exhaled loudly, before finally showing her true thoughts.

“Well then, let me tell you what’s actually going to happen, you two.” Lapis took off her jacket and placed it on the small dining room table. She took the large, warm shirt she kept for the cold weather outside off as well, revealing her short-sleeved Navy shirt. The parents saw the tattoos all around her arms, Peridot including. She just got them today, wanted it to be a surprise for her. Dark vines, a Seal Crest on her right shoulder, an American flag, her rank as a captain on the left, and even though it was hard too make out… Under the shirt, through the fabric, LGBTQ Pride flag was quite visible.

“You’re gonna leave here, right now. I’m gonna help her unpack. We’re staying, and you’re never coming back. I’m only asking you nicely this first time. Go.” The two parents were emotionally slapped in the face at that moment. Peridot’s heart started racing, and while she was afraid, she felt beyond ecstatic. Lapis wasn’t going to back down on her… She never has. She never will. And she loved her and her stubbornness now more than ever.

Finally, the two parents got their composure, and the father started retorting.

“It doesn’t matter what _she_ _thinks_ is best for her, _we know_ what’s best for her.” He said, a lack of confidence in his voice. Lapis stared at the man, directly in the eyes, silence filling the room. He tried to stare right back at her, tried as hard as he could, but…

He blinked and looked away, darting his eyes around the room, eyebrows going back slightly. That’s when one thing came to Lapis’ mind.

**_Got ‘em._ **

“I said I was asking nicely once, and I meant it. Get your shit, get outta here, fly back to the pit of insecurity and failure you came from, crackheads.”

“Excuse me, what did you just-“ The mother tried to blurt out.

“Yeah, you heard me, crackheads. Go back to your crackhead pit and stop brainwashing the only girl in your family generation that has fucking brains, stupid bitch.”

“YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THIS TO US YOU DYKE FU-“ The mother and father jumped up from the couch, trying to get closer to the Navy Seal veteran.

“Ma’am, sir, I wouldn’t get too close to-“

“YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING RUIN OUR DAUGHTER OVER OUR DEAD BODIES YOU-“

“Now, I suggest you listen to my replies before something bad happens-“

“AND YOU THINK YOU’RE TOUGH YOU’RE NOT CONTROL HERE, WE’RE-“

**_“DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!”_ **

 

The shout was beyond human. It was the loudest yell anyone else in the room besides Lapis had ever heard. The entire apartment complex heard something out of the background of their headphones. And all that rage and fury was blasted right in the face of the hoity toity Mr. and Mrs. Diamond.

Peridot was just glad she was on her side.

**“YOU THINK YOU’RE BAD!? HUH!? WHAT YOU GONNA DO, CALL THE POLICE ON US!? KICK US OUT OF OUR HOME!? THEY’RE ALL FUCKING VETERANS! I RULE THIS FUCKING JUNGLE YOU PATHETIC FUCKS, YOU UNDERSTAND!? PERIDOT WON’T BE SHEDDING MANY TEARS WHEN I GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES AND SKULL FUCK YOU TWO! YOU TWO AREN’T PARENTS, YOU AREN’T EVEN HUMAN FUCKING BEINGS, YOU’RE BEYOND THE LOWEST COMMON DEMONIATOR OF LIFE ON EARTH AND I WILL MAKE IT MY MISSION IN LIFE TO FUCKING PURGE YOU TWO EGO-LIKE FUCKS! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? DO I!? ANSWER ME! …NO ANSWER!? THEN GET THE _FUCK_ OUT OF OUR HOUSE! AND IF YOU EVER, I MEAN EVER, COME BACK AND TRY TO RUIN MY FIANCE’S LIFE AGAIN, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU DON’T HAVE LIVES TO FUCKING RUIN IN THE FIRST PLACE!” **

The two backed away slowly, like prey realizing a tiger was right behind them and was now inching over closer and closer to the kill. The two parents fled, grabbing their coats and making for the exit. They’d never been talked down before, never been called out before. That one moment changed them, and it would forever change how they would talk to people and who they would talk down to.

They didn’t even say goodbye to their daughter, who was right now in shock of what just happened. The father darted out first, but the mother took one look back at the tall, blue haired Navy Seal staring at them as they left. Lapis looked back and said one thing, voice dark and chilling.

**_“Go.”_ **

The door slammed shut.

They were gone.

Lapis turned, slowly, to face the blonde nerd behind her. She looked away in shame.

“I’m… I’m sorry you had to see me like that. If you want to… Stop dating for that, I’ll understand. It’s just… You’re close to graduating and I want you to have a future doing what you desire and-“

Peridot slammed into Lapis in an embrace, her arms wrapping around her before Lapis could even process the surprising reaction. She eventually snapped out of it and hugged her back, a small smile forming on her face and eyes closing as Peridot squeezed tighter around her.

“Are you kidding me!? Thank you! Nobody’s ever stood up for me like that, let alone against those two! I just… Thank you, Lazuli.”

“… No problem, Dot. No problem at all.”

Was it brutal? Yes. Was it loud? Yes. Was it the one thing to finally stop them? Yes.

Peridot felt more free than she had ever felt in here entire life. Stars, she probably _was_ more free than she ever had been in her entire life. All it took was someone to step up, and set those lunatics straight. All it took was a protective Lapis Lazuli to stop their conquest. And she surely wasn’t sad to see them leave. She had Lapis, and that was all she really needed at the moment.

“Now then… Let’s unpack.” Lapis said, triumphantly.

 

“You said fiancé.” Peridot said out of nowhere as Lapis picked out a slice of the delivered pizza they had ordered earlier. Lapis had to quickly force a bit down out of hunger before even coming up with a reply. Screaming at someone into surrender made you really hungry usually if you’re the good guy. Bad guys never really seem affected when they yell, however.

“W-what?” Lapis asked, being nervous for the first time this entire day.

“You… Called me your fiancé. When you were yelling at them. You said “If you ever, I MEAN EVER, come back and try to ruin my _fiancé’s_ life again, rah rah rah!” Peridot intimated jokingly, earning a nervous chuckle from the blue haired veteran.

“Heh, that’s pretty good, Dot… Well, when I use my frog voice, it’s all, uh, kind of a blur. I kind of just say things that are on my mind, y’know? And, uh, I don’t know, I guess I was just throwing thoughts at the wall. Frog voice does that to you.”

“Wait wait wait, ‘frog voice?’ What?”

“Oh, uh, drill sergeant voice, slang for using a drill sergeant voice **Coughs nervously** yeah.” Peridot scoffed before entering their bedroom towards the bathroom.

 _“Well, I wouldn’t be against the possibility, Captain Lapis Lazuli…”_ The blonde said, trying to act smooth before closing the bathroom door behind her to take a shower. Lapis stood back for a moment, arms crossed, taken back from the response. Before taking another slice, the Navy Seal officer mumbled aloud to herself

 _“Oh, she’s good.”_  

 

“So, you like the tattoos?” Lapis asked, throwing herself in bed, beckoning for Peridot to join her.

“Oh Hell yeah! The flags and the eagle and the vines and chains, so cool! I think I like the symbol on your back the most, it sort of fits you.”

“Oh yeah, this?” Lapis rolled slightly over to point to her back at the dark blue gem tattoo on her back. “That one hurt the most to get I think. Really painful on the back. Still worth it though. I don’t know why, but I’ve always thought of getting a gem on my back, like my name, Lapis Lazuli. Pretty cool, right?” Peridot nodded, giving a thumbs up before quickly wrapping her arms around her girlfriend.

“How did you even have the guts to do that back there, anyway? You just let them have it, and they _could_ have actually done what they were talking about. What gave you the strength to not back down to them? I couldn’t have done it in a million freakin’ years!”

“Oh, you could’ve, Peridot. It’s just a matter of practice. You just didn’t have someone teach you how to bet all or nothing on something. Me? I just risk it. That’s how I was trained to think. You know the most powerful rule in BUDS?”

“What’s BUDS?” Peridot asked in her typical nasally and questioning voice.

“Basic Underwater Demolitions/Seals. The training every Navy Seal goes through. It’s literally the hardest training program in the entire Untied States military. In the training, they have one golden rule: the Forty Percent Rule.”

“What’s that?”

“It means when you’re mind literally say to yourself ‘I can’t do it, this is impossible, I’m out of energy, I can’t fight anymore,’ that’s rule means that you’ve only used forty percent of what your body has left. Only forty percent. So when your parents came in shutting down everything like they had the power of light itself, all you gotta remember is that golden rule. Then you press on. Then you fight on. Then you win. Just takes practice.”

Peridot had to hand it to her girlfriend, she may not have been the most subtle or agreeable person ever (well, except for Peridot herself, of course) but none of those flaws really mattered in the end. If she wanted to do something, _she would do it,_ one way or another. And that was something anyone could admire.

“So… That’s it, huh? They’re not coming back?”

“Oh yeah, they’re long gone, Peri.” Lapis said, putting her head down on her lover’s messy blonde hair.  

“So… Bills?”

“I’ve got us covered with my paycheck. I’m also thinking about taking up a job I’ve been wanting to do for a long time once I get my relieve papers.”

“Really? What job?”

 **Sighs** “Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t!”

“… A JROTC senior army instructor. I have the education, plus my record would be able to get me in any small school or private school nearby.”

“So like, teaching kids how to march and all that?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I’ve never been much about being a teacher, but I think I could be a leader.”

“Yeah… I see that in you.”

“Aww, thanks.” Lapis said softly, before lowering her head to give Peridot a kiss on the cheek.

“So… I guess I’m going to graduate soon after all, huh?”

“I’ll be rooting for you when you get that fancy diploma, beautiful.” The two enjoyed a bit of silence, thinking about the future of each other while in the embrace of one another. Finally, before falling into a deep sleep, Peridot asked one last question.

“Hey Lapis?”

“Yeah Peri?”

“You’ll protect me, right? If they send anyone after us, or try to come to the university? You’ll protect me, right?” She knew the answer, but wanted to hear it just to feel reassured.

“… Of course…. Of course I’ll protect you, Peridot…” She paused before saying one last soft sentence before the two drifted off to sleep.

“I’m nothing without you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make DO NOT INTERRUPT ME! bigger but it won't take the different size from Microsoft Word, lol. Just imagine it bigger, I suppose. You haven't felt real shock until you've had a drill sergeant really REALLY yell in your face. It's uh... Exhilarating. Yeah.  
> Seriously though, thanks for reading, it means a lot to the cadet with low self esteem yet still works out for no reason other than everyone else does it (shrugs) 
> 
> Comments make my fingers type more, and feedback makes my eyes sharper. They're both vital, and appreciated, as always.


	9. No Need to Hide, No Need to Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis goes back to memories of war, and Peridot is there to listen. One walk down memory lane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter may be disturbing to read. Things that occour in this chapter: Graphic Violence, Child Death, Brutal Warfare. If you think you can't or shouldn't read this chapter, please don't!!!! Just skip this one and I'll explain anything major that happened story-wise so you're not in the dark. 
> 
> Wanna wrap this up since I have a new idea coming immediately after this one! I won't rush it though. Just gonna focus on this story solely so I can start another one.

_Straight shot to the head. KIA from sniper. One second she's alive... The next, she's just... A dogtag worn on their kin._

The sentence Lapis had constructed in her mind whirled around like a tornado. She consumed her own personal time and energy on Opal's death, and even though she didn't even know the late soldier, she felt a sense of self hatred from the knowledge of her KIA... Though it wasn't from lack of trying to forget. Lapis waited patiently for Peridot to leave to help her friend Amethyst out the next day before she took to hitting the bottle. Before morning had really ended, four bottles of beer had been dangerously consumed.  She almost took to going to a liquor store and buying straight up whiskey, though she wasn't _that_ desperate for self torture.

She stared blankly at dull television, her mind constantly beating itself more and more. There comes a time in everyone’s life where they must forget all the support and advice given by everyone about their troubles in life and simply spaz out in despair… Lapis had hit that time. Rose’ motivation, Peridot’s sweet support, all of it out the window. It was time to self deprecate, and self deprecate she would.

_And I survived... Wonder if her CO survived too… Would it have made a difference if I died too? … People go crazy thinking like that… The ‘what ifs’… Doesn’t matter now… Well, it **does,** that’s why I’m losing myself right now… _

_Fuck._

 

“Hello? … Lapis? Are you home?” Peridot called out into the abyss of darkness of the unlit apartment. A grumbling noise from their bedroom could be heard. Peridot put down her bags in the living room and crept over to slowly open the door like a cat thief.

Lapis was in bed, her clothes sprawled about. She thankfully had been smart enough to throw away any bottles of alcohol she had consumed. After all, it would be quite stereotypical to have random empty bottles on the floor in a room of someone who was drinking alcohol due to issues in their life.

“Lapis… You alright, hun?”

“… **Grumbles** No…”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“… No…”

“…”

“… Yeah, sure…”

Peridot took a moment to take off her shoes before climbing into the bed with her girlfriend. A clear look of depression could be seen on the Navy Seal’s face. Peridot huddled next to Lapis, the other feeling surprisingly cold for a person who had been in a bed recently. A couple minutes of silence occurred between the two, allowing the dark room to eventually comfort them into feeling cozy and private, before Lapis finally asked

“How’s Amethyst?”

“… Not well. She’s freaking out, understandably so. She knows how she died, thanks to some of Opal’s friends overseas, and that sort of makes her feel better, but it was kind of gruesome.”

“Yeah, a headshot.” Lapis said blankly.

“… How did you know?” Peridot asked in a questioning voice.

“Word sort of spreads between us back at home. If someone nearby dies overseas, we’re the ones to first know usually… Doesn’t exactly help morale, but it happens automatically.” Peridot had already figured what was wrong, and she was prepared to be helpful. It was no secret that Lapis felt guilty for her fallen comrades. She was the commanding officer, and who was to blame for their deaths other than the leader? When people assume and no one looks at the evidence, what else is their other than the worst case scenario?

“…  Hey, do you wanna… Maybe talk about what happened? … I know that’s kind of an out of nowhere question, but maybe you talking about it will help? You don’t have to, of course.” Lapis scoffed a little at the blunt question. It was common for a doctor to just bluntly ask you what was wrong. How’d you break this? How’d you end up like that? Who shot you in the torso? They weren’t usually subtle characters, Lapis noticed. Though she didn’t take much offense from her lover’s question. It was a fair try at helping.

“I… I don’t think that’s a good idea. Talking about that kind of stuff… Well, I’m already on enough thin ice as it is with me freaking out over your parents, and I don’t to push my luck any further of you leaving me.” Peridot sighed in annoyance before replying with the assumption given to her.

“Uh, Lazuli, hello? I _wanted_ you to shut them up! Plus, I’m not leaving you! Whether you believe you’re a good a person or not, I know you are. I’m not leaving you sooner than you’re gonna leave me… _I love you, Lapis…_ And I want to be here for you… _To help you.”_ Lapis rarely ever cried, her career never really good for soft emotions, but when Peridot hugged her closer in the darkness of the bedroom, a silent tear rolled down from her left eye as she put head into the blonde’s chest.

“You’re pretty serious about this whole ‘looking past all the dark’ thing, huh beautiful?” Lapis said in a raspy tone.

“Mmhmm.” Peridot said, still keeping Lapis comfortable in her embrace.

“I just… I feel like I don’t deserve to talk about it… Like, it’s not something I should burden you with.”

“You’re not burdening me, Lapis. You’ve always been there for me like I have for you. Remember that.” Lapis sighed deeply, trying to form more and more excuses and reasons behind not talking. Nothing was really wrong about this, though Lapis didn’t know that. She simply saw herself as too much of a hassle to complain. She always was supposed to be stoic, up to the point of being retired, post-traumatic stress or not. Still, it was almost like it needed to happen, like she’d been bottling up all of the emotions and stress caused to the point where it was all that she really paid attention to besides Peridot. While she didn’t admit it to herself, she knew that Peridot wasn’t lying. Peridot was a very blunt and stern person with austere when it came to her problems, her disagreements, anything negative. Her parents were a great example, understandably so.

No, if there was anyone to talk to, or rather vent to, it was Peridot. If she _did_ hate her, if she _did_ want her gone, if she _did_ want her to not speak a word of war… She would’ve said.

“I uh… I don’t know really where to begin…” Peridot remained in silence, allowing for Lapis to concoct a beginning…

“Okay… I always had a bad feeling about certain missions. I swear though, every time I did, _somebody died._ They were usually not my own, sometimes a marine that was in squad we were supposed to cover. I always took those deaths personally, in a way… But sometimes, one minute they’re screaming to suppress fire, the next minute, **bang,** KIA, dead from impact, IED, crackshot, you name, they’ve suffered it… I blame myself. _They_ blame myself.”

“Who’s they?”

“The families. They used to call me occasionally during my active duty. Threaten that they’d come after me, kill me, tell me over and over that I’m a failure and a murderer to their children… I never got used to those phone calls, but I would always answer, sort of to punish myself… It never helped either of us. They always ended up bursting into tears in the end and silently hanging up…” Peridot stayed silent, trying to stay calm and patient. The entire time, her mind started racing in fear over her girlfriend. _What the Hell is wrong with those people!? Why would they single her out over that!? It’s a fucking war! She didn’t start it!_ Peridot deep down could see where their hatred came from, but she still felt like it didn’t justify what they did.

“… Want me to keep going?” Lapis said solemnly.

“Only if you want to.” Peridot said, a sympathetic tone in her voice as she kissed Lapis on the forehead. Lapis didn’t reply, simply in a trance at this point, wanting to continue down this hallow path.

“… Then there were the civilians… They always… **Sighs** They always seemed to die the worst. As if they were executing them like that to put fear into the rest… We uh… We were on a reconnaissance mission through an urban area, and we found this man hiding out… He spoke a little English, and he was able to give us information, in return for us to protect him and his wife… And their kid. Daughter, about eight I think… So, he told us about _the enemy’s_ location here, and that they apparently had artillery nearby… As we were trying to evacuate the three, a firefight ensued, and I was… I see this man. Clearly an officer of some form. He comes up, and shoots me in the back. I fall down, not screaming, just… Scared to death, and, they… _They go for the family. They get this girl, and take her over to cover… The family’s screaming, husband and wife, they’re begging for her back, the man gets on his knees, hands together, praying to the man… Something hit a **grenade** on his waist, and it must’ve been flimsy… My ears are ringing, rubble surrounds me, gets in my eyes, and as I try to get back before someone shoots me, I look and…_

**There she was… In half. Right through the stomach.**

… I remember her face. Blank. Expressionless. A small trail of blood from her lips down to her chin. I remember my ears coming back from ringing. I suddenly heard something I wouldn’t ever forget again… _The screaming._ The mother and father… Wailing for a God, like he was there to see this atrocity only to shake His head and carry on, as if He got used to this… I never did, though… I… I think about that everyday.”

Lapis finally, finally, burst into tears. She never exposed herself that powerfully, only crying quickly without any noise, suffering in silence. This time though, the captain of the Atlantic herself was now taking a moment of shelter to really lose her own control. Peridot put her chin on her head, trying not to cry herself.

This was unrealistic to anyone sane. Comprehendible, but still difficult to grasp. She couldn’t empathize, how could she? She could only sympathize. Only one type of person can understand a soldier’s peril. That was another soldier. Peridot saw that now.

“I… I don’t want you to be lost in this sea of horror, Lapis… You deserve better than that.” Peridot said, rubbing Lapis’ back.

“… I doubt it.” Lapis said, her tears becoming a little quieter.

“… You do.”

“Why!?” Lapis said, trying not to shout, not really shouting at Peridot, but herself. She too was questioning these very ideas in her own mind.

“Because you’re human enough to know how horrible it is. You didn’t go into the military to recklessly kill like in a Hollywood film. You did it to protect people, both in and out of the military. More people would be dead if it weren’t for you, believe me. Nobody there will tell you that because you’re not supposed to think like that. You’re supposed to be a stoic number, supposed to deal with everything, because… Nobody here will. If the world were full of pacifists, then it would be perfect… But it isn’t. There will always be groups and people trying to carve themselves power by using destruction… If nobody good will stand up to them, who ever will?”

Lapis sighed deeply, her mind able to keep up with her words, but still trying to fully grasp them. Finally, she let out a soft snort before saying

“Quite the poet, huh, Peri?”

“Only for you, sugar.”

“That’s my line!” Lapis barked back teasingly, trying to laugh over her now choked tears. Peridot laughed with her, the two finally smiling after this whole ordeal.

A couple of calm minutes passed, neither of them saying a word, simply enjoying the quiet, thinking to themselves. Lapis felt… Better. Better than she had been in a long time. It was like washing a bad drug out of your system. Peridot felt relieved. Relieved that Lapis didn’t have to spend another day bottling this chaos that must’ve been rampant in her mind for far too long. It was simply… Peaceful.

“There’s more that I could talk about.” Lapis said, breaking the long silence.

“Do you want to keep talking?” Peridot asked, sweetness in her voice just the same as the first time she asked.

“No… Just a little… Fragment is enough for now. Don’t need to overflow with anything. Just needed to… Express a little.”

“Of course, Lapis… I just want to let you know…”

“Yeah?” Lapis asked.

“ _I love you.”_ Lapis paused for a moment, holding her tongue before saying ‘I love you too.’ Instead, since they were talking all personal, she figured she’d be just as blunt with Peridot as she was to her.

 

“… _Wanna get married?”_

Well, _that_ was unexpected… But it surely wasn’t unwelcome or intruding to Peridot. She knew that now would’ve been a bad idea, seeming as how she was still working in medical school, and that they should at least wait until the two have a job… But yes, it was certainly a wise idea. _Scratch that, a fucking brilliant idea_ Peridot said enthusiastically in her mind.

“Well, I have to finish classes…”

“Yeah…”

“And when we get jobs…”

“Yeah…”

“ _Yes. Yes, I do wanna get married, Lapis Lazuli. I think we’d both be a pretty awesome family.”_ Peridot said, triumphantly, thinking about all the smack she would say to her friends about all the time she was always a weirdo that was bad with people, and be able to be literally happy for the rest of her life. A pretty awesome setup, indeed. Lapis tensed up, but in a happy, overly excited way. Their hearts beat wildly for a couple of seconds, before the two calmed down to just take a step back and view in awe how… How much they just _loved each other._

Finally! One final, important, serious question was to be asked from Peridot…

“Wanna order pizza? I didn’t eat lunch today…”

“… Sure, honey!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOO YEAH BABY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT RIGHT THERE! 
> 
> Comments make my fingers type more, and feedback makes my eyes sharper. They're both vital, and appreciated, as always.

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, I'm more mad at myself than anything for being so disruptive. I'll be talking a lot less in the future. Comments and feedback are appreciated as always.


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